The Worlds Best Women Jokes

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Women say all men are dogs but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.

I have thought about this long and hard. Your father must be an alien. There is not another person on the planet that’s like you. I’m not a gambler, but I’ve just allowed my heart and my mind to bet that I will never stop loving you. String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.Read our most offensive (but funny) orphan jokes. Offensive Jokes about Religions Muslim flying a plane The Unexpected Side Effect of Becoming a Catholic God was working on the final piece of the world and he said to his angels, “This is Canada, and it’s going to be amazing. It will have diverse animals, fish, and plants. I’m also giving it oil, diamonds, and gold. It will also have sunny beaches, sparkling lakes, awe-inspiring waterfalls, lush forests, vast plains, and majestic mountains.” My mom passed away right in front of us because we couldn’t recall what her blood type was. As she faded, she kept saying that we should “be positive,” but it hasn’t been easy. My granddad kept on complaining that Millennials use technology too much. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

A blonde and a brunette were having breakfast at a cafe. The blonde’s phone rang a few times. The brunette asked: “Why aren’t you answering your phone?” The woman opens her arms, gesturing toward the entire city, “See how beautiful Las Vegas is?” she asks. A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a tree. “Don’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man says, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

Why did the woman bring a mirror to the restaurant? So she could see if her date was a good reflection of herself!

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. 15. What does tofu and a dildo have in common? No, blondes aren’t empty-headed people who have simple minds. But since the blonde vs brunette rivalry isn’t going to stop, we’re going to provide some of the best blonde jokes that will make everybody burst into laughter, even blondes themselves! So, if you have blonde friends who have a great sense of humor, you can politely use these jokes. Or if you’re a blonde yourself and want to show other people that you’re capable of joking about yourself! In either way, let’s take a look at 40+ funny blonde jokes. We hope you’ll have fun along the way! When God created women... He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men." Brian had asked Dave to help him out with cutting his rather large garden hedge after work, so Dave went straight over to Brian's A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesnt get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has hersYou're so ugly that your mum takes you to work with her everyday just so that she doesn't have to kiss you goodbye. Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.” 13. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.