You Are F*cking Beautiful: Sweary Affirmations and Funny Quotes for Badass Women

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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry “

Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if you’re one of them (I bet you are), you’re going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm. Before using these amusing affirmations, you should believe in your sense of humor. This might be a work in progress, or you might need to remind yourself of how funny you actually are. Whatever the case may be, these 15 affirmations will make you feel confident in your sense of humor: I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. -Alice Roosevelt Longworth “

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Whether you need a boost of confidence, a reminder to embrace imperfections, or simply a good laugh, we’ve got you covered. To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle, I say, ‘Be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are.’” –Jeffrey R. Holland For beginners who still struggle with letting their voice out, I recommend starting with funny affirmations that will relax you and make you laugh.

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” We get so worried about being “pretty” let’s be pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong.If you woke up feeling drained and blurry, these funny affirmations will boost your energy and get you ready to slay the day! Many people talk about having kids like it’s a bad thing. You want to know what true love is? Have some kids. They don’t care how much money you have, what car you drive, or how you look. They just truly love you for you. The unconditional love between you and your children is priceless.” Every Friday, I like to high-five myself for getting through another week on little more than caffeine, willpower, and inappropriate humor. – Nanea Hoffman

Laughter has always been lauded for its therapeutic effects. Everyone recognizes how positive emotions can affect attitude and overall health. Not only can laughter improve our problem-solving skills, but it can also help battle various diseases. Just as importantly, you can benefit from laughter in everyday situations. Make these funny self care affirmations a part of your daily routine and enjoy the feeling of looking at life’s struggles with a positive outlook. Whether you want to end your workweek on a peaceful relaxed note or to find a second wind and have an impressive productive Friday, I have affirmations for everything here. I even threw in a bunch of funny ones so you start your day with a smile and a few bedtime affirmations for better sleep. So, watch your words, restructure your thoughts, and stay positive if you want to see a change in your life. How to Properly Use Positive Affirmations?For most people with a typical 5-day workweek, Monday is a really productive day, followed by a good (and a bit less stressful) Tuesday, and then by Wednesday the work motivation gradually wears off. You might even try to keep an honest level of productivity on Thursday, but on Friday you are hardly expected to do much of anything. Not only can humor help us to be more positive, but there are so many more positive benefits of laughter such as reducing our stress, improving our immune system, and reducing tension in our bodies.

The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more that what you tell them. They don’t remember what you try to teach them, They remember what you are.” – Jim HensonThis list of funny affirmations is made up of positive statements that will help you start to see the funny side of every situation. While these may be funny affirmations, the impact of positive affirmations is no joke! There are many amazing things positive affirmations can do for you when they are used right. Yep, you read that right—we’re about to sprinkle some laughter and positivity into our lives in the quirkiest way possible. Without further ado, let’s look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. Funny Affirmations for Self-Esteem