Joined in 2023 
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Don't get me wrong, there are some very good quotes from the book, if you pull them out of context and use them as they are. Using them within the text only leads me to shake my head in dismay at what this book is trying to do. It will confuse even more novices if they read it. They will take ideas and thoughts from it much like the fiction books that more seasoned practitioners warn are not the basis of a D/s life. In fact this guide reads very much like fiction. Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino - If you are in an open relationship of any kind or are thinking about entering into an open relationship or thinking about opening up your current relationship, you need to read this book. In 1996, Jill wrote a response to a male commentator online who accused all runaways of being drug addicts who didn’t want to live under their parents’ rules. Her reply caught the attention of a woman who worked at a shelter for runaways and Jill was invited to Portland, Oregon. There, she was encouraged to tell her story. changes that the submissive undergoes to improve themselves for their Dominant or themselves. You do not have to be in a relationship to undergo training. You just have to have a desire to better yourself. I must follow any instructions that you give me regarding what I am allowed to use, how long I am allowed to use it, etc. when I masturbate.
Condition 1. If I am unable to do the task due to location, I may request to postpone the task until I am in a location where performing the task is appropriate.
Another way to learn more about what it's like to become a submissive is to attend a "munch." A munch (short for "burger munch") is a casual social gathering for individuals interested in the dominant/submissive lifestyle. Attending these gatherings is a great way to connect with experienced individuals and learn more about the lifestyle. 2. Determine if you're really the submissive type. During the early courtship, the Dominant will try and build the submissive’s confidence. As a submissive myself, this is crucial to helping me feel comfortable enough to test my limits. The Dominant can do things like ask for pictures in various stages of dress; starting from fully clothed and then gradually less. Reminding them that they are a beautiful, precious treasure to them. They can reassure them that they aren’t leaving. They will remind the submissive that they are safe and they cared for.
Sir also requires certain ways of being touched, especially after intercourse. He prefers His chest to be stroked and will directly request it. Sir has decreed that I may not orgasm without His permission. As I feel it build, I am to ask, and if He says no, resist it. This has been my sole punishable infraction to date, as the way in which He was having me made it next to impossible to resist, and in complete honesty, I wanted to see what would happen. Since that time though, with punishment looming over my head, I improved a great deal, and even redeemed myself, forgiven and excused from the punishment. Sir has been pleased to the point where He has moved on to orgasm on command.
From Siren to Sorceress:
Many times, a Dominant will use small tasks to test a submissive’s willingness and ability to obey. When the Dominant sees how the submissive responds to these tasks, they have a better idea of whether they want to continue the relationship and/or how much training the submissive will require. As a submissive, the why for a rule being in place or why I am being given some, what I think is, a random task is very important to me. I happily comply with small, seemingly insignificant tasks. The Dominant should explain why menial tasks are assigned or why they are required. When the submissive understands the purpose, they will be happier to comply. There are a few things to understand when discovering how to be a good sub – first and foremost, a sub is not a doormat. They have feelings and needs, so they shouldn’t serve apathetically or reluctantly. A real Dom wouldn’t want a doormat anyway. They want someone who truly desires to be owned. slave training, what is the first thing that pops into your mind? Is it a submissive on their knees going through the paces that their Dominant puts them? Is it
Don't expect to read a few articles on the Internet and then be able to call yourself a submissive. No matter how eager you are to learn and experiment, you won't become a submissive overnight. Becoming a true submissive takes a great deal of time and patience. In fact, many submissives may even go through a formal "training" period, which can take months or even years. I am just now beginning to learn how to undress for Sir. I feel a bit silly, but the lingerie I wear for Him helps. So far He has only specified me to remove my panties while facing away from Him, slightly bent over. Beyond that, He has only asked that I please Him with my removal of my clothes, and I try to be creative and pleasing in the process. Essays- This should have the submissive explain the rule that was broken, why the rule is important, and why they must follow through with this consequence. Writing an essay forces the submissive to put into words what happened. It could even be structured in the way of an apology that has three parts: 1) I’m sorry for ____ 2)I need to follow this rule because ______, and 3)In the future I will do _____ to follow the rules set by my Dominant because he has my best interests in mind. In training you will learn your identity is not made of your individual achievements (although they are important) but your relational context with your Dom. You are his. That is the core of your identity. That is who you are in how you will define all the other roles and lenses you look through" (Section I:1).Sir introduces all toys and equipment by either presenting it to me or instructing me to fetch it for Him. He then presents it to my lips and I kiss it, typically a flogger, rope or a slapper, though a blindfold or other bondage instruments, hair brush, etc, are managed similarly. Condition 3. In the event that the task is sexual in nature and I am on my period, I may request to postpone the task until such time that I am comfortable performing it.
In this week's video tip I talk about what training is to a submissive and the value it has to a D/s relationship.It’s been a fantastic journey to reread old articles and see the value from the other side of the slash and I wanted to share with you the key posts that stand out to me as valuable insights into a submissive and the D/s relationship that many are seeking. Sub Drop is the emotional and physical effects of the release and drop of endorphins in the body after a play session. It can feel like a sense of fatigue, or it can be an intense bout of depression. Let’s get you some help. At press time, “kink” is not a language you can learn on Duolingo, so here’s a handy glossary of some of the most common BDSM terms, from A to Z. A submissive can be confident, independent, and strong and still be a sub. Just remember: subs are not weak. When figuring out how to be a submissive, keep in mind that subs are the ones choosing this lifestyle for themselves. Their submission is a gift that only they have the power to give. And if being completely subservient feels too scary at first, start small.
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