Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

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Do Hard Things is one of those books that you read and think "Wow that was amazing, I learned so much". The path to staying calm, cool, and collected isn’t to bulldoze through; it is to learn to navigate and respond instead of reacting. It’s a strength to acknowledge if you suffer from some form of mental health issue or that certain situations cause you anxiety.

Whether that’s because of bravado or because we think we’re under dire threat, reality often differs from perception. Those players had more technical fouls (an indicator of aggression) throughout the rest of their career.They rated the experience as intensely painful, and then their brain scans confirmed how their brains were reacting. When life feels like it’s spinning out of control, or like the task you have in front of you is insurmountable, it’s easy to default to hopelessness. For far too long, we’ve propped up an external version of toughness based on bluster and machismo while neglecting inner strength based on humility and equanimity. When we resist or go into a situation with a kind of bravado or when we deny the reality that it’s normal to face doubts and insecurities, we are actually sabotaging our performance. In Do Hard Things, Magness teaches us how we can work with our body – how experiencing discomfort, leaning in, paying attention, and creating space to take thoughtful action can be the true indications of cultivating inner strength.

Drawing from mindfulness, military case studies, sports psychology, neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy, he provides a roadmap for navigating life's challenges and achieving high performance that makes us happier, more successful, and, ultimately, better people. They were actually activating the insula, a part of the brain linked to integrating the significance of the sensations one experiences. Before we dive into the review, I want to digress for a moment and preface that I’ve been a fan of Steve Magness’ work for ~3 years now (alongside co-author Brad Stulberg). it's jam packed with truth and challenges and good examples and sky high expectations and like, BRO THIS IS WHAT WE WERE MADE FOR LET'S LIVE FOR IT.He sounds both enthusiastic and knowledgeable—genuinely optimistic and intelligently focused on the science behind true resilience. We aren’t taking cues from the Special Forces, monks, or the best endurance athletes, to learn to sit with discomfort.

In the Israeli military, those who grew up in an authoritarian environment adapted to and coped with the challenges of military life much worse than their peers who grew up in a nurturing environment. Elite endurance athletes see their inner voice and the feelings that come with it as information, not a personal sign of who they are. Emphasize the journey, not just the destination: While achieving your goals is important, it’s equally essential to enjoy the process and appreciate the growth along the way. Yet, the prevailing model has promoted a mentality based on fear, false bravado, and hiding any sign of weakness.I use "yelling" in the colloquial sense here – talking down to someone regardless of volume; you can berate or chastise someone, in a low tone of voice, and be yelling. Do Hard Things tasks us with re-thinking the ingrained ideas we have about the traditional model of toughness, while at the same time, providing us with the mental tools to develop real toughness. Understand who you are and your capacity, bravado won’t save you, be in the moment, learn to grind, root your effort in larger meaning. They discussed drugs and drinking, but when it came to the s-word… err… inappropriate behavior… err… bad stuff… err… sexual activities… They sounded like a couple of embarassed twelve year olds. Steve's been thinking about these issues for years, and this book presents a fascinating and, more importantly, extremely helpful new perspective on toughness and how to build it.