1000 Years of Annoying the French

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On hindsight, this is a really good book to get yourself familiar with the history of these two countries, even if you're not from either of them. To give the simplest of examples – go into the British Embassy in Paris, and what do you see in the first anteroom you enter? Having said that, Clarke is very blunt in his condemning of certain British atrocities mentioned during his rather thorough journey through Anglo-French history, as well as being quick to point out some specific flaws manifested by the Brits. It’s not tactless or provocative – relations couldn’t be better between the British Embassy and their French hosts – it’s simply there.

became famous doing Elvis’s dance moves while singing a bizarre mix of rock’n’roll and French crooning. Like what the real Richard the Lionheart and his brother John were like, not just how they are depicted in the countless Robin Hood adaptations. The prospect of one day being hauled out of the canal by yet another old enemy was hard for France to swallow, even more so when British and French defence specialists discussed their exit strategy in case of an overwhelming Soviet attack, and the Brits proposed a massive evacuation via Dunkirk. This is no dry history book, but a humorous recounting with lots of pithy statements and witty asides.It’s pretty comprehensive, coming in at just under 650 pages, and it’s not all as good as the rest of it. Justin Edwards's french accent was brilliantly deployed on all French quotes, to highlight their (French) annoyance. I bought the book back in 2012 during a stay in Rome and couldn't put it down: the most hilarious history book I've ever read. Coming after the scuttling of the French fleet at Toulon by the Vichy Régime, it was the last blow to a fleet that, whatever the Brits might think of it, was in 1939 the fourth in the world after Britain, the United States and Japan; also, as the Naval Encyclopedia admits, it "had been saved from the budgetary misconceptions of aviation or the erroneous tactics of the Army"!

Like everyone else, I always suspected that the mistrust had something to do with 1066, Agincourt, Waterloo and all that, but I felt that most of our battles were too far in the past to have much effect on the present. Only Churchill stood by the Général, and made an official announcement to the effect that ‘His Majesty’s government recognizes General de Gaulle as leader of all free Frenchmen, wherever they may be. A ceste Amendement (or ces Amendemens) avecque une Amendement (or des Amendemens) les Seigneurs sont assentus.So I can attest that the present updated version is even more fun to listen to, owing not just to the material itself but also to the impecable narration.

William the Conqueror and Napoleon-the-dwarf (with very little body parts): they weren’t even French. Apparently the Général phoned the American President, Lyndon Johnson, to tell him that France was opting out of NATO, and that consequently all American military personnel had to be removed from French soil. Ten centuries' worth of French historical 'facts' bite the dust as Stephen Clarke looks at what has really been going on since 1066. The ministers said such a radical policy change was dangerous and cast doubt on some of the unfavorable reports about de Gaulle.Of course, de Gaulle never liked the Britons, and he vetoed Britain’s entry into the European Economic Community. During World War II, the British hated their French allies almost as much as they hated their Soviet allies. The problem in France was that the butchers kept killing the shepherds, while the sheep turned cannibal.