Sorry For Your Loss: What working with the dead taught me about life

Product Information

Each time I read through my highlighted passages, I think, “Yes—that’s exactly right.” Maybe because my own mother’s death is still fresh, and Kate put many of my emotions into words. Here are some that I found especially meaningful.

It's common to feel at a loss for words when someone you know has experienced the loss of a loved one. It can be hard to craft words of condolence that express your thoughts. These example condolence messages will help you express how you feel and bring comfort to those in need.DG: It’s scary. It’s extremely scary. Human beings want to be in control, or we want to know what’s ahead; we want to have some sense of how [something] is going to go. When you see someone you love die, you realize we have no control over this; part of the reason we avoid it so much is that the emotions are so big, and the unknown is so daunting, that it’s just a scary thing to bring up. You don’t know where it’s gonna take you, right? Varied Jewish traditions and beliefs around life and death are an essential part of this story featuring two singular, quirkily realistic kids, both white, whose burgeoning friendship is a delight in a sometimes funny, always moving story.”— Cooperative Children’s Book Center (Chosen as Book of the Week) Kate, and all other medical professionals who worked tirelessly during the pandemic knowing they were putting themselves at risk, are heroes - and this book was incredible. Talking to family members who have lost someone is extremely difficult. You may well be in mourning as well and so finding the words to try and comfort them at such a harrowing time for both of you is incredibly hard. It’s all these little things that people dwell on and want to erase or rewrite. They beat themselves up about them. But, actually, do you know what? It’s often clear the departed were very much loved and they had normal relationships in normal lives. Those who are left behind, though, often want every single, enduring memory to be a positive one. Unfortunately, life isn’t like that. There are some families who do it better than others…”

That all of that said, there were cliches and slight annoyances throughout the book. I found Evie, the main character, horribly immature and way too chatty. Although she does get more bearable as the book goes on, her obnoxious personality was too much for me in the beginning of the book. The secret of Evie’s friend Sam was built up throughout the book, but once revealed, felt very vague and under developed. Sam was more of an excuse as to why Evie was reluctant to make friends than anything of real substance. Oren’s last words to his parents were very cliched. And the two girls that bullied Evie were over the top and didn’t add much to the story. The book really is an emotional read and I identified with some of the different families, through the different loved ones they lost and how they each decided how to handle that loss and the family customs, traditions and rituals they chose to do.SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS : What working with the dead taught me about life” is a non fiction memoir of a behind the scenes look at working life in an NHS hospital mortuary. Written by Linda Watson-Brown and is based on the real life experiences of Kate Marshall, as she recalls various encounters with both the living and the dead, during her employment across a full calendar year. So Sorry for Your Lossis a powerful and indispensable book that is unlike any book on grief that I’ve previously found. Gachman shares her own moving story while offering advice that is both clear and forgiving. The world is full of books that tell you what not to say to someone grieving; I love that Gachman stresses that (with only a few exceptions) anything is better than silence. This is a book suffused with humor and grace, and one that I will keep close at hand to help guide me when I need to comfort others—and myself."— Will Schwalbe, New York Times bestselling author of THE END OF YOUR LIFE BOOK CLUB LH: Lastly, given how much you’ve thought about death and grief, what has the process taught you about living? However saying that, I’ve just lost my dear dad recently and I wasn’t sure at first that this was a book I’d want to read so soon but I gave it some thought and realised that (for me) it could be quite comforting. My dad died in hospital and I always wondered exactly what happened, in the time between his passing and to when the funeral director took over. I felt very reassured by what Kate Marshall said, regarding the procedures and the physical and emotional wellbeing that is given to patients who have died on a ward. Over the past half-decade, journalist Dina Gachman went through the unthinkable: She not only lost her mother to cancer in 2018 but then lost her sister to alcoholism in 2021. After reading dozens of books on grief in an effort to reconcile their passings, she had an important realization: Maybe she had something a little different to add to the conversation.

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own. guilt results in a touching story that is a delight to cry through.”— Association of Jewish Libraries We learn that death is very much part of the everyday, but that our dead should still be afforded the respect and love they deserve. It is a lovely, slow, enlightening book written with great compassion, on what goes on in the basement of hospitals. It is where very many of us will end up, though absolutely no-one would choose to. But we will. This book blew me away in that it explores such deep topics - such as emotional trauma - in such an easy way for children. As someone who has been on Evie's side (the outside looking in), in that someone she knows has suffered a terrible loss and all she wants to do is take that pain away, I found this book incredibly personal. I also appreciate how it explores not only the challenges for being a support for someone else, but the importance of not only working at their pace, but prioritizing your own stuff too.Which is perfectly understandable. It’s the natural response to a horrible situation and shows you are offering some comfort or empathy with that person. Oren cried, felt pain, and coped with it in his own way. Evie and Oren's friendship was complicated, and their grief was not something easily overcome. The ending was uplifting, poignant, and hopeful. It was such a sweet tale of how their friendship developed. Even with the sadness, it was still quite natural as they progressed. The family of Evie is wonderful, and Evie makes mistakes, but they are entirely typical for a young person entering adolescence. She learns about friendships, and readers gain a lot of knowledge about Jewish funeral customs, which may not be fascinating to everyone, but were to me.

Dina Gachman’s SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS is a collection of essays that masterfully explores grief in all its sacred intricacies. It is vulnerable and generous, and while anyone who has experienced grief knows nothing can alleviate its sting, it does offer us a valuable comfort: that you are not alone.-- Marisa Renee Lee, author of GRIEF IS LOVE All of these should be suitable for most situations. If you’d prefer to use your own words then try to think about what you would like to hear from someone if you were in that position. Kate Marshall is a similar age to me and what she wrote in the conclusion of her autobiography regarding her personal thoughts and reflections, mirror mine exactly. Recognising your own mortality and the awareness of unavoidable death, along with not wanting your loved ones left bereft, is exactly what I’m feeling too and I was comforted by the thought I’m not alone.LH: I also really loved the part of your book about climate grief and these other larger social moments of grief that maybe aren’t always attached to a specific person or a hyper-specific event. For instance, you bring up the AIDS Memorial Quilt, which is about a more all-encompassing state of grieving. Why was it important for you to think big picture about different types of loss? If you’re attending a funeral you may have to introduce yourself to family members or friends of whoever died. Use these alternative words to be express your condolences for their loss. Evie Walman is not obsessed with death. She does think about it a lot, though, but only because her family runs a Jewish funeral home. At twelve, Evie already knows she's going to be a funeral director when she grows up. So what if the kids at school call her "corpse girl" and say she smells like death? They're just mean and don't get how important it is to have someone take care of things when your world is falling apart. Sorry for your Loss’ tells the story of Kate Marshall, who has spent the last year working at a mortuary. It recounts her experiences, particularly memorable patients and how the COVID-19 pandemic changed her job, and her perspective on it, forever. Though this may be a difficult read for some, the care in discussing death and dying, family, friendships, and survivors’