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What is wrong about sex anyway?" asks Jane. "People just make it sound wrong. But sometimes, it ain't wrong at all." A look at the Kenyan tabloids also suggests that women are at risk of violence from their sponsors. It's not hard to find headlines such as "Stabbed to death by a man who has been funding her university education," "Kenyan 'sponsor' threatens lover, posts COFFINS on Facebook and she DIES afterwards," "Pretty 22-Year-Old Girl Killed By Her Sugar Daddy." These articles all describe, sometimes in graphic detail, sugar relationships that led to murder.
Tributes pour in for ‘comedic genius’ Matthew Perry, dead at 54
When Friends ended in 2004, Perry’s next small-screen lead was in Aaron Sorkin’s Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, which was cancelled after one season. In 2009 he starred in hit comedy 17 Again alongside Zac Efron and later guest-starred on both The Good Wife and The Good Fight. The book was a hit with readers and critics. The Observer’s Barbara Ellen called it “harrowing and revealing about the juncture where extreme compound addiction collides with mega-celebrity”. For many young Kenyans, the values espoused in families, schools, and churches simply do not align with the economic realities of the country, or cannot compete with the material temptations that, in the age of reality TV and social media, are everywhere visible. Warner Bros Television Group, which produced all 10 seasons of Friends from 1994 until 2004, paid tribute to “our dear friend” and “an incredibly gifted actor”.Perry was nominated for an Emmy award five times, once for Friends and twice for his role as lawyer Joe Quincy on The West Wing.
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Until recently there was no data to indicate how many young Kenyan women are involved in sugar relationships. But this year the Busara Centre for Behavioural Economics conducted a study for BBC Africa in which they questioned 252 female university students between the ages of 18 and 24. They found that approximately 20% of the young women who participated in the research has or has had a "sponsor." Six years ago, when she was at university, Shiro met a married man nearly 40 years her senior. At first, she received just groceries. Then it was trips to the salon. Two years into their relationship, the man moved her into a new apartment because he wanted her to be more comfortable. Another two years down the line, he gave Shiro a plot of land in Nyeri county as a show of commitment. In exchange, he gets to sleep with Shiro whenever he feels like it.People come up to me every day and say, ‘Hey, Chandler!’ I don’t respond to it,” he said in a 2014 interview. “If somebody says, ‘Hi, Matthew, I love your work,’ that’s one thing. But if somebody goes, ‘Yo, Chandler’, I don’t like that. I’m tired of it. I’m not Chandler.” We drove out to swim in creeks, had beers in the local college bar, kissed in a field of long grass. It was a magical summer. He had shot the pilot of Friends but it had not aired yet. He was nervous, hoping his big break was just around the corner. It was. We stayed friends for a while until we drifted apart, but I was always happy to see him when I did. I am super sad today, as so many of us are. I hope Matthew is at peace at long last. I really do.” I was taking 55 Vicodin a day, I weighed 128lb (58kg), I was on Friends getting watched by 30 million people – and that’s why I can’t watch the show, because I was brutally thin,” he said. Perry later admitted he had suffered severe anxiety “every night” while filming the show and said he felt nothing when the show ended. The impact of his comedic genius was felt around the world, and his legacy will live on in the hearts of so many. This is a heartbreaking day, and we send our love to his family, his loved ones, and all of his devoted fans,” it wrote. But as most of those dependent on sugar relationships are female, they have dominated the public debate. There are concerns about the morality of their lifestyle, but also about its consequences for their health.
SEX AND THE SUGAR DADDY - BBC News
We're constantly bombarded with moral ethics, and with what religion does and doesn't allow. But it's all a pretence," he says. "We're just burying our heads in the sand and pretending these things don't happen." Most young women, she says, are not aware of the dangers. "Some of the girls who disappear around our continent were in these transactional relationships… Looking at the police reports, these are cases of girls who were in relationships with older people, and they were rejected at some point and someone decided to kill them." Perry was 24 when he started playing Chandler. He reflected that when he read the part, “it was as if someone had followed me around for a year, stealing my jokes, copying my mannerisms, photocopying my world-weary yet witty view of life”. In a 2019 interview, Crane said the role of sardonic joker was the most difficult to cast, with Craig Bierko, Jon Cryer and Jon Favreau also considered. Dr Joyce Wamoyi from the National Institute for Medical Research in Tanzania says girls and young women between the ages of 15 and 24 have consistently been at higher risk of HIV infection than any other section of the population in sub-Saharan Africa. Perry’s family said in a statement to People: “We are heartbroken by the tragic loss of our beloved son and brother. Matthew brought so much joy to the world, both as an actor and a friend.
But while some feminists argue that any choice a woman makes is inherently feminist - because it was made by a woman - others question how free the choice to enter a sponsor relationship really is. Jane, the student, makes a distinction, arguing that "in these relationships, things are done on your terms", and Dr Kirsten Stoebenau, a social scientist who has researched transactional sex in Kenya, agrees that this is significant. Grace, the aspiring singer struggling to put food on the table, has a slightly different perspective - to her the similarities with sex work are more apparent.
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In the past, some of Kenya's socialites have styled themselves as #SlayQueens, and have been quite upfront about the financial benefits that have come from dating tycoons. Having made it to the top, though, they often begin to cultivate a different image - presenting themselves as independent, self-made businesswomen and encouraging Kenyan girls to work hard and stay in school. Even within the family, most Kenyan girls have it drummed into them from an early age that they must marry a rich man, not a poor one. It's taken for granted in these conversations that men will provide the money on which women will survive. So for some it's only a small step to visualising the same transaction outside marriage. Maggie Wheeler, who played Chandler’s girlfriend Janice in Friends, said the joy Perry brought to “so many” in his “too short lifetime will live on”. Former schoolfriend Justin Trudeau, actor Viola Davis and singer Adele were among those who paid tribute to the actor, who struggled with addiction and strived to help others who battled similar demons. Screen legend Kathleen Turner, who played Chandler’s transgender parent, told the Guardian: “I was proud to play his ‘Dad’”.In 2019, he was put in a two-week coma when his colon exploded due to opiate abuse; he underwent 14 surgeries to repair the damage. “At this point in my life, the words of gratitude pour out of me because I should be dead, and yet somehow I am not,” he wrote in his memoir. He’s probably the best comedic character of all time,” she said. “He was so open with his struggles with addiction and sobriety, which I think is incredibly, incredibly brave.” Perry with Julia Roberts in an episode of Friends from 1996. Photograph: Everett Collection Inc/Alamy
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