How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7

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It is kind of stunning how much our kids really do want to emulate us. And how much they focus on our overall strategy. It’s a tired old phrase but true: children will do as you do, not as you say.”

Investment in Your Family's Beyond immediate problem-solving, this book is an investment in the long-term well-being of your family. It equips parents with valuable skills to nurture positive parent-child relationships and effective communication. By promoting trust, empathy, and cooperation, it sets the stage for a loving and supportive family environment that will benefit everyone for years to come. If you’ve read this book, I’d love to know which of the suggestions or tips really worked for you. Please comment below Links Mentioned in the Podcast: In this chapter, Joana and Julie discuss alternative methods you can use to show praise or appreciation to your child. They explain everyday methods that you might use when praising your child that may actually be hurting their behavior instead of helping. They recommend these methods instead:

Fighting

Even a two-year-old can learn “please.” Expect your child to be polite. Children shouldn’t feel manners are optional. Speak to your children the way you want them to speak to you. 14. Speak Psychologically Correct However, when we started implementing the strategies in the book and started saying: “Erik, it’s time to go upstairs. Would you like to go upstairs like a frog or like a cow?” Or if there is a book that we were reading that day and that he loves, we’d ask him to act like something in the book. For instance, the thing he’s really into right now is robots, because of his love for the book “ Love Z“. So if we say, “Doyou want to go upstairs like a robot?Or do you want to skitter like a mouse?” (because of his love for the book “ Mouse Mess“), and then he’ll skitter like a mouse upstairs. I agree that punishments are not helpful for children, however the author leaves out discipline entirely. The good thing about being a parent is that if you blow it the first time, you almost always get another chance.”

Joanna only advises punishment if it’s pretend punishment like putting one of her kids in pretend jail for a short amount of time, and the kid enjoys it (289). Oh yeah, like *that’s* going to motivate the kid to not be bad in the future? HA! Getting a consequence and a punishment….the child is still getting pain in the hope of changing their behaviour. Give information about the problem rather than accusations. Instead of saying, “You’re ruining the floor,” try “Water on the floor can seep through and ruin the ceiling below.” Wait for your kid to be calm, then ask the kid to think of some solutions to the problem so it doesn’t happen again (98). I’ve tried this with my kid, and it doesn’t work. My kid just repeats what she wants and doesn’t want to do anything different. I offer suggestions, and she said she doesn’t want to, and she doesn’t care how other kids feel. In an example the authors give, a kid doesn’t like their hair washed, so they come up with the idea to wear goggles in the bath (105-107). It’s a bandaid solution though, because eventually shouldn’t the child learn to take a shower normally without goggles? How are they going to learn if they continue to use this handicap? The kid needs to learn to close their eyes like everyone else. Humour is one of the best antidotes to master/slave relationships at work or at home. If you can make your counterparty smile or laugh then you are in a strong position to influence and effect positive change.

Sometimes we just need someone to listen and nod, not boss us around, or tell us what we’re feeling isn’t the right thing to be feeling.

Brainstorm solutions with them. Write down all the suggestions, even the ridiculous ones. Then eliminate the ones that definitely won’t work (“No, we can’t make your sister live in the basement”) until you can come up with a compromise. Here are five convincing reasons why adding this book to your collection could greatly benefit you and your Children depend on us to name their feelings so that they can find out who they are.” Our voice gives recognition and awareness and truth to the people around us. For nearly forty years, parents have turned to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk for its respectful and effective solutions to the unending challenges of raising children. Now, in response to growing demand, Adele’s daughter, Joanna Faber, along with Julie King, tailor How to Talk ’s powerful communication skills to parents of children ages two to seven. Describing progress when the goal hasn’t been fully achieved: “You got the shoe over your toes! Now let’s push it all the way on.”

One study found that when people are offered large monetary rewards to complete a challenge, their creativity and engagement in the task plummets. Rewards helped people perform well on some very simple mechanical tasks, but as soon as they needed cognitive skills, rewards interfered with their ability to function.”You should praise effort. Instead of good job on those gymnastics; try “you kept on walking on that beam, never giving up.” Express your feelings . . . Strongly! ‘HEY, I don’t like to see people being pushed” (92)! Common sense thought from a kid: “I don’t care what you like.” Book’s comic book example (129): Instead of Mom saying, “You’re going to your room! And no dessert for you tonight” & Kid saying “I don’t care!”, Mom should say, “I’m upset! I don’t like what I see!” And the authors really think the kid will care more about how mom feels than about missing out on dessert? HA! Imagine being at work and your boss doesn’t like your work. What will you care more about: The boss saying, “I don’t like what I see” or the boss not paying you for the day’s work? The truth is that people are selfish; most will care more about themselves over other people’s feelings. I tried the book’s suggestion anyway: “I don’t like the toys being on the kitchen floor.” Kid ignored me and didn’t clean them up. FAIL. Instead of giving in to your child’s spur of the moment requests for material possessions, write the item down on a wishlist instead to POSSIBLY buy later (20-21). And the reason why this is good advice is because it’s NOT giving the kid what they want, it’s putting off what they want to some unknown date that may never come. Or, 2: I could not get the thing, tell him to live with it for the 10 minutes (or whatever) until we get to where we are going. That response would surely invite crying escalating, into a full-on, inconsolable tantrum as the ride went on. I would have to listen to the screaming for the whole ride and then deal with it when we got to where we are going.