All New Dad Jokes: The SUNDAY TIMES bestseller from the Instagram sensation @DadSaysJokes

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The following puns are known to have come from this book after Riley gives it to Ellie in Left Behind. It made us laugh. But more importantly, we knew it would’ve made our dad laugh. For most of his life (or at least as long as I knew him), he was a huge advocate and gleeful teller of Dad Jokes. Here are 200 of our favorite dad jokes, separated into several distinct categories for any dad-amusing situation. Make your father laugh today. Punny Dad Jokes

All New Dad Jokes: The SUNDAY TIMES bestseller from the

If you’ve ever had a father (or currently are one), you don’t need me to explain a Dad Joke. To paraphrase US Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart when expounding on how to identify pornography in 1964, you’ll know it when you see it. When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein. I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.” Need more joke ideas? Of course, dad jokes wouldn’t be dad jokes without the kids. The number one fans of dad jokes are really the kids. Their the inspiration and the reason for it all, so here are dad jokes for kids. Shiv: Sharpening · Health: Splinting · Shiv: Reinforcement · Melee: Knots · Molotov: Construction · Bomb: Containment · Melee: Techniques · Smoke: Chemistry · Health: Sterilization · Molotov: Deployment · Smoke: Shaping · Bomb: ShrapnelMy friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It’s a good thing he drives a Civic. A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean. Both crews were marooned. One of my favorite memories as a kid was when my brothers used to put me inside a tire and roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears! Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst. My daughter just shrieked at me, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” What an odd way to begin a conversation.

Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny - Best Dad Jokes of All 148 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny - Best Dad Jokes of All

I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there. Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Question: What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

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As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.