Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

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If one of us is in a mood, we agree that we don’t have to hide it or feel ashamed. We can speak openly about it, and we know it will be held with compassion and empathy. Now it’s time to once again act, to do something with those emotions, your awareness. Now is the time to do what you couldn’t do as a child—let others know how you feel rather than thinking, "I can only feel better if I make them feel better." The two strains of BPD are "acting in" (self-harming), which is much easier to recognize and treat, and "acting out" (harming others), which is tougher. The book confirmed a lot of what I've learned recently about the acting out / higher functioning BPD strain. Patricia Evans, in The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How To Respond (1996), suggests

If the BP threatens harm to themselves (or others), notify the person’s therapist (if they have one) at the earliest possible time. You, the BP, and the therapist may all want to meet to discuss how you will handle self-harm in the future. If this is not possible, seek professional help on your own to discuss how to handle the situation. If you believe that the BP may be a danger to himself or herself or others, the BP may need to be evaluated for hospitalization. The foundation of a healthy relationship is based on mutual love, respect, and open and honest communication. If either of these pillars crumbles, then the whole relationship can break down. Your partner is meant to be your best friend and your confidant. This won’t work when you feel the need to walk on eggshells in your relationship.Have I accepted the fact that the BP will change only if and when he or she is ready to do so? Am I able to wait until that happens or live with things the way they are if it never happens?

Stop trying to fix the person. Allow them a chance to learn from their mistakes. If they won’t learn then they will have to live with the consequences. Walking on eggshells can have a significant impact on your mental health and well-being. Whether you’re afraid of conflict, rejection, or angering someone else, it’s important to recognize that this behavior is not healthy or sustainable in the long run. By identifying the underlying causes of your behavior, setting boundaries, practicing assertiveness, and seeking professional help if necessary, you can break the cycle of walking on eggshells and start to live a more authentic and fulfilling life. If you’re tired of feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, there are steps you can take to break this pattern of behavior. Here are some strategies for how to stop walking on eggshells: Recognize the problem Whether it’s emotionally or financially, feeling dependent will make you feel that you can no longer survive without your partner. So, you just try your best to please this person, even if it means you have to tolerate walking on eggshells. 14. You feel trapped and lost

Agree to be a better couple. If both of you don’t have problems with this setup, then that’s great. It won’t be perfect, and there will be instances where one of you might make a mistake. Don’t take responsibility for someone else’s actions. You did not cause this to happen. If an event that involved you preceded the episode, recall the difference between causes and triggers. You constantly have to look at your partner to see if they are already glaring at you, being silent, or would even squeeze your hand tightly out of anger. 5. You are no longer happy It’s not uncommon to come across people who had experience with walking on eggshells in their relationship to say this. In fact, many people believe that what they are going through is just a trial to test their relationship. 13. You’ve become dependent