Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide

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Those of a certain age ( ahem) may remember him for 1979’s earworm “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).” Eventually Caltech led me to MIT, which led me to aircraft manufacturer Woltan Industries, which led me to homicide. This was not entirely MIT’s fault. I don’t even blame Woltan that much, except for their choice of senior executives, one being my supervisor Merrill Fiedler, who needs to die. Although this beautifully designed DIY manual is full of twists, the emphasis is on comedy . . . but the extraordinary Holmes can pull the heartstrings too.’ THE TIMES

So I was sunk. If Dobson knew enough to show me those sunglasses, then he had me dead to rights. I wondered if they planned to arrest me here and now. I sure would have liked a last beer before going to prison. I doubted they had beer in the death house. Certainly not draft. Suddenly, life imprisonment and a job in the library sounded like a vacation in sunny Madrid. Murder Your Employer is quite funny (and punny) and clever, and definitely satirical at times. The narrator’s voice was unlike any other writing style I’ve read, and I loved it. I handed Stedge his gun. “I was never going to shoot either of you,” I said, as if they might wish to understand me better. “There’s only one person in the world I want to kill, and I thought if I could get away from you, I might have a second chance.” I looked at their passive faces and mumbled, “You can’t understand.”The telling difference would be that this particular shove would occur while Fiedler was standing at the edge of the platform as the IRT train bulleted into the station. Rupert Holmes was born on February 24, 1947, in Northwich, Cheshire, England. Soon after, he ventured forth to America (New York) with his British mum and Air Force dad. After graduating from the Manhattan School of Music, Mr. Holmes delved into the art of melodious sound. A successful piano player for both the Cuff Links and the Buoys, with whom he had his first international hit, "Timothy," in 1971, Rupert also wrote and arranged songs for Gene Pitney, The Platters, The Drifters and the Partridge Family. Not sure why this took me so long to get through! It's certainly a uniquely told story from a unique author, filled with a bit of mystery and humor and a lot of drama. In some ways, it reminded me of a TJ Klune book, and in other ways of a quirky suspense tale. PDF / EPUB File Name: Murder_Your_Employer_-_Rupert_Holmes.pdf, Murder_Your_Employer_-_Rupert_Holmes.epub Have to table this audiobook. Every time I turn it on I just want to turn it off. I think I’ll switch to the book at another time.

Prepare for an education you’ll never forget. A delightful mix of witty wordplay, breathtaking twists and genuine intrigue, Murder Your Employerwill gain you admission into a wholly original world, cocooned within the most entertaining book about well-intentioned would-be murderers you’ll ever read. If they refuse to reform, you can proceed with a clear conscience. After all, when the behavior of another person leaves you no choice but to kill them, their murder is simply involuntary suicide.” I mean lol. I maneuvered my newly cumbersome form as daintily as Oliver Hardy doing a soft-shoe with Stan Laurel, passing through the gauntlet of a turnstile and down concrete steps onto the subway’s uptown platform, and discovered with satisfaction that my target was standing exactly where I’d wanted him to be: Merrill Fiedler, a crisply groomed success story in his early fifties, in town on business for Woltan’s Baltimore plant, where he’d been my supervisor. He was currently thumbing a magazine by a newsstand at the south end of the platform only a few yards away from me, precisely as I’d managed to contrive. I needed Fiedler positioned on the platform where uptown trains entered the station. At the far end, the train would already be braking to a halt and might not deliver an instantly lethal blow. Here Holmes successfully turns the mystery genre upside down by making us root for our three goodhearted killers, who if they fail, don’t just receive an F — they pay with their lives. Gulp. Edgar winner Holmes ( Swing) frames this cheeky 1950s-set crime novel as a self-study guide for those who can’t afford tuition to the McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts, a “finishing school for finishing people off” whose location is kept secret from even those enrolled. The book-within-a-book’s author, McMasters dean Harbinger Harrow, chronicles the experiences of three students to educate at-home pupils by example. Baltimore engineer Cliff Iverson, British hospital worker Gemma Lindley, and incognito Hollywood star Dulcie Mown may hail from different walks of life, but all are at McMasters for the same reason: to learn how to kill their sadistic employers without getting caught. Harbinger warns from the start that not all three students will succeed in their respective missions, fostering a sense of mystery surrounding who fails, why they fail, and how spectacularly. Though the book feels overlong, sapping some of its drive, and Holmes never fully commits to his conceit, his farcical plotting, idiosyncratic characters, and witty, stylish prose combine for a fun, frothy read. Fans of humorous historical fiction will be well entertained. Agent: Jennifer Joel, ICM Partners. (Feb.)A funny, fast-paced, flip-the-playbook mystery in which three ordinary citizens are trained in murder on a luxurious hidden estate . . . a fantasy academy laid out like a combination of Hogwarts, Downton Abbey, and a White Lotus–style resort. . . . Holmes can clearly do anything.” —The Los Angeles Times

Well, I assume there’s been some crime committed in the hotel and you’re talking to all the guests,” I said casually. “But yes, I would like to know what this is about.” The three main characters have very different goals and different types of people they want to murder, as well as different motives, but it's very understandable why they want what they want, even from the beginning. It's perhaps a bit grim, but it also has a cheeky attitude that I really responded to, as well as playing around in a bit of a grey area, morally speaking. I do have a couple of gripes, however. The events occurred in the 1950s but the setting barely lent anything to the story; it could’ve all happened within the last twenty years and there would’ve been no substantial difference. I literally only realized it was set in the chosen decade after an explicit mention of the fact past the 90% mark. Maybe I missed something or maybe it just went over my head, but as I was paying very close attention given that this was a mystery, I highly doubt it. The ending was a bit too neat for my taste and left me wanting way more of my favorite character. But that sly little last chapter somewhat made up for it . Kudos to Holmes for that clever final stroke. Consider me teased and prepped for a next installment. Through their diaries, interactions with each other and the dean’s reports, we follow their progress. It was interesting to see what the classes are about and the weekly timetables, including the eating schedules. What I found very intriguing were Cliff’s attempts to escape the school in the beginning.I'm purposely leaving out almost all plot details because it's way more fun to go into this one knowing almost nothing and just let the book happen to you. (I'm sure it would also be fun to try and figure out what's going to happen, but I'm not that kind of reader.)

Seven friends in a continuous loop of eternal exile and youth embark on a road trip to the end of the world. I felt Gemma was a completely unnecessary character to add and served nothing to the story. If another volume has been produced reviolving her, I'm sure I would've care about her story. As it is, she was a largely unimportant character until over halfway through the story. Suddenly she's a POV and we're supposed to learn about her life and goals and a bunch of other stuff I didn't care about. It's a diservice to her character to toss her alonsisde Cliff's storyline. Cliff undertakes many of the courses needed to better understand the art of murder and how to effectively target those who deserve to be extinguished. As Cliff makes his way through the courses, he shares with the reader some of his insights and how his training is slowly helping him to become more sinister and a better killer. Cliff uses some of his time to reassess the foibles of his attempted killing of an immediate superior, as he tries to concoct how he would re-commit the murder. Oh, and when you wake,” added Dobson, “your head will be bandaged so you can’t see where you are. Don’t panic. When new students regain consciousness, they sometimes think they’ve gone blind, or worse.” The beginning of this book reminded me of Monty Python and Futurama, it was bizarre and so funny! The academy with its seemingly jovial and good natured dean was idyllic and cozy which contrasted with its murderous purpose in a brilliant way.Cliff Iverson is our main character who, after failing to murder his despicable boss is whisked away by parties unknown to The McMasters Conservatory of the Applied Arts. We meet other failed murders students as Cliff's journal entries walk us through the day-to-day shenanigans as they all learn the skills necessary to murder their deserving target succeed at their desired task... I was constantly blown away by the cleverness of the narrator and the depth of comedic knowledge they presented the murderous education in.