Women Who Love Too Much

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Women who love too much take on too much and feel like it’s their responsibility to do everything. They think they have to solve poverty, save the environment and get everyone to understand how to eat healthy. Yes it is important we don’t ignore the problems of the world, we must fight to solve them, but we also must not bite off more than we can chew. You must remember to focus on the many important factors of your life which include social, financial, family, spiritual, romantic, career, goals, hobbies, physical health and eating. We often lose sight of something when we focus all of our energy on helping others. Suddenly, you look up and years have passed and you haven’t laughed, danced or doodled. So take some doodle time today and find balance. 6. Remind yourself that you don’t have to save the world Source:

Self-will means believing that you alone have all the answers. Letting go of self-will means becoming willing to hold still, be open, and wait for guidance for yourself. It means learning to let go of fear (all of the “what ifs”) and despair (all of the “if onlys”) and replacing them with positive thoughts and statements about your life.”Parte benino, finisce male. Si potrebbe dire molto su questo saggio, che mi è parso molto riduttivo e rigido. L'autrice sfrutta casi limite per avvalorare la sua tesi principali, cioè che le donne (e qualche uomo) ricercano relazioni abusive perché cresciute in un ambiente familiare tossico. Non sono certo una terapeuta, ed è vero che i rapporti familiari possono distruggerci, ma individuare questa come l'unica causa mi sembra semplicistico. Dove finiscono le persone che hanno avuto un'infanzia normale e si ritrovano comunque in una relazione abusiva? If you tend to cater to the needs of others, you also need to cater to yourself. If you have a partner who wants to spend lots of time with you and smothers you with love, you still need to create healthy boundaries and take time for yourself to make sure you don’t lose your identity getting wrapped up in other people’s lives.

Well, stay on higher ground and lead an example from a distance. Don’t mingle with dirt or you’ll get dirty. If people have an unhealthy lifestyle, act in ways that are disrespectful to others or do things that are unkind, you really don’t have to be their friend. Be selective with whom you hang out with or you’re liable to end up involved in things you want to stay away from.

Do you find yourself attracted again and again to troubled, distant, moody men -- while "nice guys" seem boring? Women who love too much often agree to things they really don’t want to do. It’s either because they feel obligated/guilty to do something or they have trouble being direct and saying what they actually want. This comes up in our jobs and our personal relationships.

This book teaches that love shouldn't be about suffering, no matter what overly-popular television programmes and movies would like to tell us, but should be about a mutual caring and respect, and one that doesn't leave us feeling forced to smother another in our attempts to "help" them, make them better. In a way, what Norwood is describing is an example of the old saying that, “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” And, so, the pattern is set during childhood and they try and try again, forever repeating the same process. You see, nice women often feel insecure because they don’t allow themselves to be fabulous. They’re so busy people-pleasing; they lose balance in their lives. I’ve definitely been there, and you’ll find that if you give all your time to others, you’ll soon crumble.Pero cuando usted trata de solucionarle sus problemas, él queda liberado de su propia responsabilidad por su propia vida. Entonces usted queda a cargo del bienestar de él, y cuando sus esfuerzos fallan, él la culpará a usted.” How the search for the love you never got from your parents can become a crushing obsession in adulthood. Trudi rubbed her brow and continued thoughtfully. “There’s another feeling, too. Sad. I think I felt sad all the time, but I never told anyone. If someone had asked, ‘What do you feel inside?’ I would have said I was fine, absolutely fine. Even if I could have said I was sad, I could never have explained why. How could I justify feeling that way? I wasn’t suffering. Nothing important was missing from my life. So, yes, I think I love him, but if I’m in love with him, why can’t I have a good time in bed with him? There’s nothing wrong with the way he makes love, either. He’s very considerate, really wants to please me. That’s very new for me. He’s not as aggressive as Jim was, but I don’t think that’s the problem. I know he thinks I’m wonderful, and gets really excited about me, but nothing much happens on my end. What this means is that the primary focus of the therapy is on the relationship between therapist and client. It is in that therapeutic relationship that the unhappy patterns of behavior are repeated and the therapy provides a corrective experience. Insight or understanding is not enough for the client. She needs an experience whereby she can learn a different way of living. It is difficult to remove blinders from one’s eyes and see what is really happening.

A iubi prea mult înseamnă, în realitate, să fii obsedată de un bărbat şi să numeşti asta dragoste, să laşi această obsesie să-ţi controleze sentimentele şi comportamentul, să-ţi dai seama că are o influenţă negativă asupra sănătăţii şi liniştii tale şi totuşi să nu te poţi elibera de sub puterea ei. Inseamnă să cântăreşti iubirea în funcţie de dimensiunile suferinţei.” It's not going to change your life or save you from falling into your darkest places, but it's a good book for women to read if only to understand certain patterns of behavior that either we, individually or collectively, put into our relationships. While I don't remember it to be preachy, it does a good job of explaining why we may do certain things and why we shouldn't. True acceptance of an individual as he is, without trying to change him through encouragement or manipulation or coercion, is a very high form of love, and very difficult for most of us to practice.”This can be a really hard boundary to set up and it’s hard for loving, nurturing women to know when to say enough is enough. We take on other people’s problems and it weighs us down. The book was written for the layman, so there aren't clinical terms being used or overused, which I could imagine is part of the book's continued success after about three decades on the market.