Why Mummy Drinks: The Sunday Times Number One Bestselling Author

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Well, she miraculously learnt to walk again, and her joie de vivre and positive outlook caused that to happen, but she still got run over! Surely in a just world, the little girl who brought joy to the sorrowing hearts of an entire town wouldn’t get run over in the first place!’ Our set book for this month was "Why Mummy Drinks." by Gill Simms. The group when asked would recommend this book to their friends. Below are their most memorable and least enjoyable bits of this book. A T-shirt! On a morning in December!’ said Simon in outrage. ‘Imagine the heating bill. And as for sitting in your pants …’

Hannah: It’s just so far! And he’s still my baby. Well, I know technically Edward is my baby, since he’s only four, honestly what possessed me to have another baby in my forties? Don’t answer that. Sambuca shots have a lot to answer for, as do second marriages. But Lucas is my baby too! And I know I’ve done Christmases without them when they were at their useless streak of weasel piss father’s but it’s not the same as Lucas being on the other side of the world on his own! The characters were funny - slightly over the top but funny all the same and being a 40 something year old woman I could totally relate to the lead character in this book even down to the names she calls her husband. A truly fantastic funny read. If you are a parent, overworked, Not enough hours in the day, at the end of your tether and need to put a smile on your face then this book needs reading. Its one of those books that at regular intervals you have to stop and say to whoever is nearest to you, 'ahhh just listen to this'. lol lol lol Unfortunately I have not yet actually managed to buy the bento boxes for their lunches or book jiu jitsu lessons, and I will have to learn to like green tea, as it is foul, and I have not yet mastered French plaits, but I am quietly confident that these are mere details in my grand master plan… Don’t do what? You’re the one who’s just announced they’re not coming home. It’s not like you’ve ruined Christmas or anything!’ I snapped sarcastically.This year, she wants nothing more than to perfectly fig up the pudding and sit by the fire reading aloud from A Christmas Carol to a rapt, rosy-cheeked audience. But, just like all Mummy’s best-laid plans, this year’s Festive Vision is in danger of being totally derailed by her chaotic family. There’s not much chance of any action under the mistletoe, and the kids are just not playing ball. Mummy has always loved Christmas. Sure, the kids turn into demons, the dinner gets burnt to a crisp and Aunt Louisa’s general staggering inappropriateness sends Mummy reaching for the nearest maximum-strength festive tipple, but nevertheless, for her, Christmas is always special.

Maybe if I'd read this before becoming a mother I may have seriously thought of finding a contraception that liked me. Although then I just wouldn't have understood the book anyway lol. And even though you are leaving me all alone at the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, because you’d rather piss off with your rich boyfriend and his stupid parents, I’m still helping, I thought sulkily to myself. Spot on, and honest encounter of bringing up children and family life in general. Being a mother, wife and general everything. There may also be drink involved occasionally. Ok there will be drink involved and it's more than occasionally. Verbier is only in Switzerland,’ Simon argued. Ah, Switzerland. Not France. Must remember that. ‘Even Thailand isn’t that far in this day and age. And it’s hardly forever; it’s only for Christmas!’

In the book Mummy is constantly thwarted in her efforts to have well turned out, well rounded children who she has delightful little chats with and goes on lovely walks in the countryside with. They won't eat her lovingly prepared healthy food, look in horror at the idea of improving visits to art galleries etc and Daddy (otherwise known as Gadget Twat) longs for a 'simple lasagne', little knowing how much effort it takes to make said dish. His plaintive cries when failing to cope with his little dears if Mummy is out for a while made me laugh and I think that many stay at home parents will recognise the other parent not really understanding just what they do all day with the children. It's not all sitting about having coffee with the other mums! And then, this morning, I got a phone call from Jane – at university in Edinburgh. This never boded well, because Jane is of the generation that regards actually talking on the electric telephone as a deeply unnatural and suspicious practice, and she can therefore only be induced to venture into such uncharted waters under great duress or in emergency situations. I’m not sure which category this fell into. For Jane, duress I suspect, knowing that a text would have merely provoked a wrathful phone call, with me shouting, ‘You’re doing WHAT?’ and that an actual phone call might spike my guns slightly. For my eldest child – my first-born – my baby girl – was calling to tell me that her boyfriend Rafferty’s parents had invited her to go skiing with them over MY PERFECT CHRISTMAS, and ‘like, you don’t mind, do you, Mum?’