What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing

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The Orkin Pest Control person disguised as a mom with a heart of gold. You know what I’m talking about. You grab that gigantic wad of paper towels to dispose of that arachnid in your child’s bedroom only to be heard don’t kill it mommy. It eats mosquitoes. Or it’s good for the world. And in that moment you have the skill of the greatest animal rescuer as you carefully get that spider which has no place in your home and carefully bring it outside as your seven year old cheers you on. the woman who wrote it is english so the vocabulary is a little different, but you get used to it. (nappies=diapers, mum=mom, cot=crib, chemist=pharmacist, etc...)

Top 10 Reasons Why Moms Are Important | Psychology Today

A hardy three quarters of the 2,000 mums polled worked at least in a part-time capacity, doing an average of 24 hours of paid work a week on top of their role as a mum- revealing that many are putting in an 81 hour week for the family. Mother’s Day is a day you get to show your mom (or the mother of your children) how grateful you are that she is in your life. Don’t waste the opportunity. Our mothers are the foundation of our first attachment to the world. As infants, we learn by her example how to bond with others. We derive our initial sense of our self-worth from how she cares for us, nurtures us, protects and shields us from harm. Good mothers make mistakes. Good mothers support other mothers when they make mistakes. Good mothers forget to support other mothers when they make mistakes. Can make things work. Like getting the kite to actually get up in the air knowing that within 11 minutes it will no longer be in the air but rather in your neighbor’s trees. Then moms know the exactly the right pressure to exert while pulling on the string that cuts into her hands to release that kite from the trees. Moms can fix toys, make kids believe that once the battery dies that they can’t be replace on those loud toys, they can make meals from scraps, and Halloween costumes from the dress up box. Moms make things work.If it weren’t for your mom, you wouldn’t be breathing right now. If nothing else, you should thank her for that. However, whether it’s uncomfortable or not, mothers remain stoic and endure the pain for as many days, weeks, and months as necessary. Garrido-Rojas, L. (2006). Apego, emoción y regulación emocional. Implicaciones para la salud. Revista latinoamericana de psicología, 38(3), 493-507. https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/805/80538304.pdf For example, in the chapter on "what is motherly love" Stadlen argues that a good mother would never have bad feelings towards their child, and she "names and shames" many others who write about feeling that way. Other chapters are similarly slanted while overtly claiming not to be, especially in the second half of the book.

What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing

Good mothers work outside the home because they have to, because they want to, because they want their kids to know that women can participate fully in the working world, because it’s the best choice for their families. Good mothers never yell at their children. Good mothers yell at their children and then apologize for losing their patience. Good mothers yell at their children and then don’t apologize because occasionally kids need to know they’ve crossed a line, dammit. Some say that there’s no other love in the world like that of a mother. Whether it’s totally true or not, mothers do know how to love like creatures that were “made” for it. 20 incredible things that every mom does for her kidsFathers are a vital part of family life. I haven’t written much about their perspective because surely fathers should speak for themselves. Also, I see a mother’s role as unique, not interchangeable with a father’s, and one that needs to be better understood. The much-used word ‘parenting’ often blankets over the crucial contribution of mothers. We need more words to validate what mothers are doing, especially as they start to relate to their babies, and then as they continue relating totheir growing children, for the rest of their lives. What toxic parents allhave in common is their inability to provide their children with a safe, nurturing, and loving environment. If they are narcissistically abusive, they are without empathy and sometimes even conscience. This type of ruthless behavior has a damaging impact on our early development as well as the way we navigate the world as adults. Once we become mothers, we also develop new relationships with one another. The way we relate to one another is crucial. The isolation that so many mothers describe is not necessary. Good mothers breastfeed—for six days, six weeks, six months, or six years—because they know it’s “best,” because it’s natural, because they have support, because it works, because they made it work, because it’s easier, because it’s really nobody’s business why.

What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen | Waterstones What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen | Waterstones

Far be it from me to act like I'm possessed of near-goddess like magnificence for spawning, but sometimes in the face of endless no-sleep and hormonal chasms of depression, you need something to make you feel special. And to know that there are hordes of women who feel just as good/bad as you do about the whole thing. Shaming is a tactic the narcissistic mother uses to ensure that her children never develop a stable sense of identity or self-esteem to ensure that they never grow independent enough outside of seeking her validation or approval. She shames her children for not accomplishing enough academically, socially, professionally and personally. She shames them for their choice of career, partner, friends, lifestyle, their manner of dress, their personality, their preferences – all of these and more come under the scrutiny of the narcissistic mother. She shames her children for acting with any sense of agency because it threatens her sense of control and power. By doing so, she instills in them a sense of never being good enough, no matter what they achieve. 2. She sets up damaging comparisons among her children as well as their peers. Moms breastfeed even if it’s painful, yes, because breast milk is the best food a child can receive. Good mothers show up. Good mothers sometimes can’t show up. Good mothers try to make up for not showing up. Truly, our mothers worked hard and made sacrifices, so our lives would be better. There are not a lot of people willing to do that, so let her know you appreciate it.The narcissistic mother is not unlike any other narcissist in that she feels entitled to have her way and endures narcissistic injury when this sense of superiority is questioned or threatened in any way. As a result, her emotions tend to be a psychological rollercoaster from start to finish. From the sudden outbursts of rage when you fail to obey her demands to the abrupt love-bombing which occurs when she needs something from her children, there is little consistency in a household with a narcissistic mother. Her children walk on eggshells every day, fearful of encountering their mothers rage and punishment. 8. Emotionally invalidates, guilt-trips and gaslights her children.