My Dad's Jokes are Punny, So Color Him Funny!: 101 hilarious cartoons

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Rearrange these letters to form words. 1. PNEIS 2. BUTTSXE Did you get “SPINE” and “SUBTEXT”? Yeah… Neither did I. The punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are. Hilariously Inappropriate List of Dirty Jokes

I’d like to find out the reason why Snow White, who is an iconic Disney character, was shut out of Disneyland.

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year. What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks—I'll never part with it. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!" A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and…(pause)…… cola.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

I couldn't believe that the highway department called my dad a thief. But when I got home, all the signs were there. Santa Claus – or Father Christmas, Père Noël, Kris Kringle, Weihnachtsmann, Babbo Natale or whatever you prefer to call him – works very hard over December. In the run up to December 25, he’s constantly keeping an eye on his elves’ gift production line, drawing up plans for the most efficient route across the world and making sure his reindeer are in peak physical condition for their shift on Christmas Eve. Have you heard about Murphy's Law? Yes. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. How about Cole's Law? No. It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing. The present may stink, but at least now we can look forward to a better yesterday.”– Fry in Futurama You know Tom; I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that.

Did you know that a Rubik’s Cube has something in common with a p*nis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. What is the difference between a teacher and a train?One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins? You just have to listen varicosely. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, "Just you wait!" Even though he’s a to-ho-ho-ho-tal legend, it doesn’t mean we can’t tell a few silly Xmas jokes about him and his reindeer squad, does it?

A teddy bear sits down at a restaurant. The waiter asks, “Would you like anything?” The bear responds, “No, I’m stuffed.” I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Because when you find it, you stop looking. A bear walks into a restaurant. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled… cheese." The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" "Whaddya mean?" the bear replies. "I'm a bear!" A grasshopper sits down at a bar. The bartender says, "We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, "Who names a drink 'Steve'?"