Behind the Player -- Paul Gray (DVD)

Product Information

I was a heavy smoker up to the day of my SAH. Fortunately, being in hospital for two weeks made the initial withdrawals easy! I think that quitting is very much a state of mind. I found it much easier than I thought it would be although 17 months on I still get the odd craving. Ottway urges Luke to let her "take you", which is open to interpretation, but it feels like Ottway is instructing Luke to let those memories guide him through the pain and into whatever comes next. The deaths of Flannery (Joe Anderson) and Hernandez (Ben Hernandez Bray) not only emphasize the very real threat the wolves pose to the survivors' lives but also erase any sense of invulnerability the remaining men have after the crash. While neither of these characters has the opportunity to reflect on their mortality, their brutal endings catalyze the dialogue that comes later about the subject. I had bad headaches prior to SAH and in some senses I have fewer now - because if I feel a headache coming on I am more likely to stop and rest up. I know that battling on will only make it worse in the long run, and after 3 years I am not so scared the whole time I have a headache, and I know I'm likely to get a headache if I over do it. I wish you the best in your recovery ~ it is up and down at times but you will see progress as Tina said. There will be residual challenges and the acceptance of a “new normal” but life is a gift and there are rewards to perseverance. Give yourself more grace on hard days. When she squirts the spidery little crawlers, toss a grenade at her and them. The splash damage has a good chance of damaging them all.

I had my SAH in October of 2021. I was out with my 14 year old son building a greenhouse. I was just sawing a piece of lumber when my head began throbbing. I went into the house to get a drink of water and lie down. As I was leaving the kitchen, the headache went from a 7 to a 10 almost instantly, and I fell to the floor. When I eventually made my first car journey, I had to drive with the air conditioning blasting on my face; I needed to feel the cold, needed to feel awake. It felt so very weird and also very scary. Even my feet didn't feel as though they were part of my body. I seemed to over emphasise every movement that before the SAH, would have been so normal. I just didn't feel in control, it wasn't me in this body that I had returned home with. Walk to the far end of the room, and boxes will drop with “EAT SHIT AND DIE” written on them. It’s time for the boss fight with a mama molded. Mama molded boss fight As i said before, it just takes time, little steps. Feel free to join in the daily banter in the Green Room. We are a friendly bunch. I can completely understand and empathise with this - it's like listening to myself. I gave up on the books for a little while and read magazines instead - especially those with puzzles in and did those too. Now, I'm reading on average 2 books a week.Things will get better, it just takes time. Adjusting to the new you also takes time. You will get there. Your amazing wife by your side. Things like this make you stronger. Be proud of you

I think you are all right as I am not one for doing nothing and think each day I should be better and try to do more and then get tired and frustrated and over think things. You should gradually build up your activity level as you feel able. Your brain and body will tell you when they have had enough. Start by maybe going for a short walk each day and you should find it gets easier as time progresses. During the early weeks, frequent rests will be necessary when exercising. Obviously I was exhausted afterwards (I'm sure most people are after a wedding, regardless of recent brain haemorrhage!) but all things considered I am so pleased with my recovery and that I was able to have the wedding which we planned for without too many adjustments. I wore my earplugs as loud noise is still difficult for me, and the tinnitus seems to be fairly permanent now since my bleed. I did have some quite extreme ringing in the days after the wedding but I was expecting that, and it's slowly subsiding.

The tearful and weepy days I also had - I asked my GP to refer me to a counsellor as I was diagnosed with PTSD - it might be worth talking to your GP about this. I was doubtful at first, but my word, how that man helped me was amazing. Please look into it. I suppose I am about a month ahead of you or maybe less in terms of recovery, I definitely feel like the last couple of weeks I've made more progress with recovery so hopefully this is on the road ahead for you too!