Office Fantasies

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For Annabelle, it’s a must that all her boyfriends are into CFNM. ‘It’s one of the top requirements,’ she says. Annabelle raises the topic fairly early on: ‘I wouldn’t blurt it out right at the outset, but I’d cover it at the sex chat stage, if I thought the relationship was going somewhere. I’d ask if they had any fetishes or interests – most respond with something – then I’d mention CFNM.” For Terry, feeling embarrassed is part of the fun – despite being at the larger end of the line-up. He explains, ‘it’s still embarrassing getting measured, and being naked with other people – especially when it’s only the men who are naked. I like the embarrassment of being exposed, and the comments I get from being viewed. I enjoy it and get turned on.’ Stars: Sharon Kane , Eric Edwards , Robert Kerman , Honey Wilder , Bobby Astyr , Karen Jeffries , Don Edmonds , Chelsea Blake This is undoubtedly what feeds our office fantasies: more than sleeping with this or that colleague, we basically want to desire.

Immanuel Kant would probably advise you to ask yourself this question: is the other a means for me, or an end?’ The day flew by because all I did was daydream about various fantasies I wanted to recreate with Mr. Singer. As people started to leave for the day, I was confused to see him, too, in his overcoat. “Adrienne, I’m sorry, you’ll have to pull the files without me, I’ve got a last minute dinner I need to attend.” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my face, I’m sure he caught it, but I didn’t really care. I was all wound up… for nothing. “Sure thing.” The penis painting was followed by an ‘edging competition’, when the men were brought to the point of orgasm without cumming – if you cum, you fail. Describing the scene, Terry says: ‘It was two women per man, and they’d each take it in turn masturbate him. When he gets close to cumming they stop – that’s one edge. After 30 seconds or so – or when the twitching’s stopped – they start wanking him again. We had to do it eight times.’ While we need to be mindful of our partners boundaries and respect their right to say no, there’s no harm in broaching the subject with a sexual partner. Sex researchers have wondered the same thing. Several research studies have focused on what women fantasize about. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, entitled “What Exactly Is an Unusual Fantasy?”, wanted to determine which sexual fantasies are common among women. The researchers asked women living in Quebec to answer the Wilson’s Sex Fantasy Questionnaire. 799 women completed the questionnaire, of which the majority were heterosexual. The fifteen most common fantasies as reported by these women are listed below.

9. Group sex

This is something you have to be patient and understanding about, because sex means different things to everyone, and the conversation shouldn’t be forced. However, this unique place that is the office can also hold some pleasant surprises, since 16% of all couples are formed there. So how can we arbitrate this choice? Could your colleague turn out to be the love of your life? Spruce up your old home office space by creating a white office. The fresh white hue is a great way to make the entire room look brighter and bigger, even if you have a small office. Obviously, it’s difficult to assess the sincerity of our own desire. Immanuel Kant would probably advise you to ask yourself this question: is the other a means for me, or an end? A test would be to imagine the other naked, stripped of their position in the company, of their place in the hierarchy, their uniform or blouse, and see if the desire remains intact. Imagine your colleague in their simplest form: you’ll see if they’re as attractive as they are when they’re talking in a meeting! More reserved cities on the list were London, with 34% of people never trying out a sexual fantasy in real life, followed by Brighton (32%) and Edinburgh (31%).

Reactions have varied. ‘Some guys were perplexed and couldn’t understand it, but gave it a go and didn’t like it. Others have been intrigued and embraced it.’

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As a single woman, Annabelle has ‘played’ with the men at these events, ‘as in I’ve got them erect and kept them erect, but not given a hand-job to completion. I like watching them complete.’ When Annabelle is in a relationship, she’ll take her partner to the event, and the only ‘playing’ will be with her partner – who will be off-limits to other women at the event. Activities include massages and ‘competitions such as a wank-off’. ‘The guys wank themselves and the last one to cum wins,’ says Annabelle. ‘Sometimes we give them a cookie – it’s kind of a joke prize – but really it’s for the honour of knowing he lasted longer.’ The men then masturbated in a competition to see who could ejaculate the furthest. The distances were measured, and marked by a little box. ‘That became the distance to beat for the next ones up,’ says Terry. No wonder that desire can arise in such an anchored context, in this enclosed place, subject to such a repetitive rhythm. To get out of it, we can be tempted to bring about “poetry, beauty, romance, love, [...] what we stay alive for”, to quote John Keating, the literature professor played by Robin Williams in The Circle of Poets disappeared (1989). Have you ever had the disturbing experience of suddenly seeing a colleague in a new light, and finding yourself wanting them? Of suddenly finding their jokes funny, their anecdotes interesting?

We all have fantasies. Some of them are highly romantic, like being swept away by Prince Harry to join the Royal Family in England. Others are darker, more risqué. We don’t always like to admit to having these fantasies, women especially, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have them. Would you feel comfortable telling your friends that you fantasize about being handcuffed to a bed post while someone coats your body in molasses? You probably never found the right time to mention it. Perhaps we wouldn’t find our fantasies so unusual if we realized how common they actually are. Stay consistent with the white color scheme in your home workspace by adding this white feminine office desk. Decorate the white desk with a vase of pink roses to give it an extra feminine touch. Instead of choosing those cold sterile office chairs, opt for a Parisian-styled desk chair. Annabelle doubts that she could sustain a relationship with a guy who wasn’t into CFNM, explaining: ‘There’s nothing better than being clothed in front of a hot naked man, commanding and dictating his every action.’ Sir’ now, is it?” He asked, moving next to me, standing above me looking down with that look on his face.

The men were required to stay erect at all times without touching their genitals. Punishment for losing their erections included ice-cubes being melted on their bodies and being spanked. Recalling his punishments, Terry says, ‘I was face-sat for ten minutes.’ Initially, Annabelle was unaware that there was a name for her new interest. ‘I just wanted more naked men in my life! Then a friend said, “this is CFNM!” I looked into it, and started watching porn on it and getting into groups and meet-ups around it.’

But it’s no coincidence that this fantasy of playing another role tends to burst onto the highly codified scene of our office life. In a company, we make up a collective of humans dedicated to a mission. We’re on a stage where women and men are supposed to perform coordinated tasks, in constant communication, and cooperate with each other. Hence the desire to improvise a bold step aside. Try writing down what you want to talk about before you broach the subject – this can help you organise your thoughts and think about the questions your partner might have. I’m going to need you to stay late tonight and pull some records so I can prepare for the DRC meeting tomorrow. The party was the first time Terry had used a dildo. He says, ‘it was cleaned each time, and a new condom was put on it, but I was very nervous. When it was my turn, I really didn’t want it and I wasn’t sure what to do, but I walked over and one of the ladies helped me get on the chair. My arse was lubed up, then I slowly lowered my bum over the dildo.’ He adds: ‘It was hard to relax, and it hurt, but there was no damage, so I didn’t regret it.’ At Annabelle’s second event, there were ‘hotter men, less of them asking to f*** me, and the ability to tease them without touching – that’s when I knew I love this.’Morality: fantasy can help you escape your dreary, everyday life at the office; it can also cause a great deal of havoc. But it’s something you can also act on, provided the conditions are met to allow it to flourish outside the context of power relationships. So what if you invited your colleague to step out the usual framework, and let yourself be surprised by reality? First of all, remember that an authentic sexual and loving encounter is only possible if we question with clarity the nature of our desire and motivations towards the other. Could sleeping with your boss or someone beneath you in the hierarchy be a way of trying to feel relationships of social domination within the love relationship, to stimulate desire? After all, business leaders are twice as likely as others to attempt a workplace fling – does this mean their position feeds their desire for conquest?