The Man Who Mistook His Job for His Life: How to Thrive at Work by Leaving Your Emotional Baggage Behind

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Furthermore, if your impressive work is igniting envy, then attempts to right matters by enhancing your performance may only make things worse. Similarly, if attempts to defend yourself are interpreted as questioning the culprit’s competence, then you are unlikely to get your point across. Expressing your feelings to a co-worker who is making your life miserable is only sensible if they can control their emotions.

Next weekend, 28-October-2023 will be our last book engagement. We are warming towards our physical meet-up. Or: The Man Who Mistook His Job for his Life How to Thrive at Work by Leaving Your Emotional Baggage Behind

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Moreover, the book highlights the importance of emotional intelligence in the workplace. Shragai argues that developing a deeper understanding of one’s emotional landscape is crucial for professional growth. This involves not just recognizing and managing one’s emotional reactions but also understanding how these reactions can influence interactions with others. For instance, learning how to effectively manage stress or communicate emotional needs in a professional manner can greatly enhance workplace relationships and team cohesion.

Endings also have a deep symbolic resonance with the people who stay. When exits are ignored, or worse, those departing are treated badly, it signals to staff remaining that they, too, are unimportant. This can result in lost motivation and effort, which damages overall collaboration, productivity and performance. What’s more, an opportunity to re-employ talented and experienced leavers in future is missed. Karen Thomas-Bland, founder of Seven, a management consultancy, says that with current pressures on recruitment, many companies are relying on a “boomerang effect”. But if people are treated badly on their way out, they are unlikely to return. As a leader, you should find a better way to communicate expectations to your team, in a facilitative manner. It's good to distinguish areas where perfectionism is needed and where mistakes are tolerable, then align expectations accordingly. For years I assumed work was there to validate you, but there I found that no matter how hard I worked that validation didn’t come. That was a sobering experience, it certainly matured me.” Finally, the title is catchy, but I am not convinced if it really is good for the book. It does not reflect its character and I think it lures in audience with different expectations. Maybe this is what affected the surprisingly and disappointingly low score. The content is more serious than the title, simply put. When I imagine giving this book to some people I know that might need it, they may be detered by the impression, like it was another silly, superficial self-care guide about work - which the book is not. I am an executive coach, psychological business consultant and qualified psychotherapist with over 30 years’ experience working with organisations, executives and teams, as well as individuals, couples and families.Another important aspect discussed is the practice of mindfulness and reflection. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, can help individuals stay grounded and present, reducing the likelihood of emotional overreactions. Reflective practices, like journaling or talking with a trusted colleague or mentor, can provide insights into one’s emotional patterns and offer new perspectives on challenging situations.

Ensure all team members are clear on how their work contributes to the overall business and leaders can articulate it clearly. One key strategy highlighted in the book is the development of emotional awareness. This involves recognizing when personal emotions, such as frustration, anger, or sadness, are influencing workplace behavior. Shragai suggests that by becoming more aware of these emotional states, individuals can start to understand their triggers and learn to respond rather than react impulsively. How Can Leaders' Recognition of Their Emotional Baggage Shape Organizational Culture and Foster a Supportive Work Environment?I now realise it wasn’t down to me. My manager was deeply insecure and projected his own anxieties on to his team.” This was an interesting read, which looks at how we deal with things in the workplace is affected and formed through our childhood experiences. Naomi Shragai is a psychotherapist and uses (with consent) real life examples to illustrate and explain such things as why some want to people please, avoid difficult conversations or have imposter syndrome When motivated and ambitious women join an organisation, they want opportunities for development and career progression. Unfortunately, for too many, they are often the default person asked to do the office housework or feel obligated to volunteer over a wall of silence to ensure work progresses. This unrecognised work neither challenges them nor leads to a promotion. Longer-term impacts can be significant, especially if women have more office housework than their core responsibilities. They can be demotivated and have increased imposter syndrome if they feel this is the only work they are trusted to deliver. Verify how women are perceived in the team and, if necessary, advocate for them to be recognised for their technical capabilities. Remember that those remaining will observe how their colleague is treated. Even if the reasons for a departure are unsettling, managers should provide an explanation because secrecy can become toxic, allowing people’s malignant fantasies to run wild.