Fifty Seventy: Mature Gay Men Find Love

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Another great way to meet local gay guys is to join a social club or organization. Many cities have LGBT community centers that offer social events and activities for mature gay men. You can also look for local groups focused on hobbies or interests that you enjoy, like hiking, book clubs, or cooking classes. Fill out your profile with as much detail as possible. This will help other members get to know you and increase your chances of finding a compatible match.

Robert, I’m 84 and today is my lover’s 31st birthday. I think 53 years difference may be stretching it; I came out to family at age 73. I struggled for over a year with the age difference, but it didn’t seem to bother him. I finally reached the point where I simply accepted the good fortune of having someone truly love me for who I am, and for loving him for who he is. After numerous discussions, we’ve finally put that issue away. Use the search function to narrow down your search to men in your area. You can search by location, age, interests, and more. Yes, it's true that the Olympic-sized pool of dating prospects you swam in years ago seems like a lap lane when you reach your 50s. So the best bet is to cast a wider net. Get off of the sideline and get involved in your passions and interests. For example, if you like the outdoors, join a gay hiking or walking group, and meet men while you get fresh air and exercise. Focus on smaller parties, events centered on hobbies and interests, and volunteer opportunities. And, if you haven't already, try online dating, which is bringing new hope to those of us who don't have a ton of time or want to hang out at bars.At the heart of this chapter are the stories of 11 gay men, aged 43–71, who spoke about adventurous sexual encounters with strangers. It would be an exaggeration to say that they structured their lives around casual sex but, as their stories show, they were willing and able to make time available to maximise opportunities for sexual adventures.

They know more about what turns them on and are less self-conscious about asking for it. Having more free time, less stressful work lives, and more self-acceptance contribute to an enhanced sense of sexual possibilities.

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As gay people, I think we feel extremely sensitive in ourselves and we all have our struggles that are individual to our personal experiences. Those things can be magnified when you have the extremes of sex and love. Right after that the feelings of loneliness can become way more palpable. For me, in Berlin everything became more heightened. This chapter rests on stories appearing across three books that the author has written on gay men's life stories and which focus on age and ageing. The first (Robinson, 2008) concerned three generations of Australian gay men, aged 22–79, and how changing social norms affected the ease with which they could be public about their sexuality. The second considered how age and ageing affected gay men's relationships (Robinson, 2013). Based on material from an international sample of men aged 20–87, it examined long-term relationships, fatherhood, various lived experiences of single men and generational differences regarding gay marriage. The third book (Robinson, 2017) looked at gay men's working lives from the perspective of three generations of gay men from the same international sample, as well as their views and experiences on retirement from paid work and on old age/later life. Medications of many sorts, including antihypertensives and antidepressants, decrease libido and genital function. Chronic medical illness can take the sizzle out of sex life. So do the sexual side effects of some surgeries, notoriously those after prostatectomy for cancer. Take your time getting to know potential matches. Don't rush into anything and make sure you feel comfortable before meeting in person.