Go the Way Your Blood Beats

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The book is raw and intimate, showing his childhood experiences of, in Emmett’s own words, his “double difference”. As a reader, I felt so many emotions. I felt angry, sad, ashamed for the behaviour of general society, afraid for the author; while his first experience of Pride made me smile.

Facing rejection from his peers at that pivotal time in his life led Emmett to hope he would find greater acceptance in the gay community – but his early experiences in gay bars and queer venues left him feeling more alienated than ever. ‘I’m too gay for the disabled people and I’m too disabled for the gays, so where do I go?’ Go the Way Your Blood Beats is a memoir about being born with cerebral palsy and the “strange and heartbreaking experience of becoming a charity poster boy as a young child”. The medical model of disability posits that the disabled individual needs to be fixed or somehow normalised by surgical intervention, and I had completely swallowed this idea,” Emmett explains. De Monterey’s early life was marked by challenges. He was diagnosed with cerebral palsy at a young age, an experience that deeply shaped his understanding of identity and difference. Despite these challenges, De Monterey maintained a resilient spirit, using his personal experiences as a source of strength and inspiration in his writing. When Emmett de Monterey is eighteen months old, a doctor diagnoses him with cerebral palsy. Words too heavy for his twenty-five-year-old artist parents and their happy, smiling baby.You could almost see the journalists going, ‘This is not what we were led to expect from the rhetoric around this process’,” he says. In this week’s episode Rina and Lauren discuss the importance of connecting with people who share your experience, building a community (hello the fkingnormal podcast!) and just how valuable this is for providing a safe space to cope through difficulties — together. They interview Australian author and advocate Melanie Dimmitt on her journey to accepting her less typical parenting path, what she learnt and what she has gone on to achieve to support others in a similar position. When the author responds that he has cerebral palsy, the guy’s reaction is swift and unpleasant: ‘You should be at home’ Melanie discusses the initial feelings she had hearing her son’s diagnosis, her path to finding acceptance and how connecting with others in similar situations opened her eyes and prompted her to write her debut book. The group discuss their own routes to acceptance and how building support networks with others was the life line that they all needed. Melanie spoke candidly about what she first struggled with, but also highlighted just how relieving it was to find others that she could relate so deeply to.

De Monterey, who is a trained psychotherapist, commented: “Writing this book has been a wonderful, rewarding experience. I’ve so enjoyed working with Isabel, who is a remarkable and sensitive editor. I’m thrilled it’s being published by Viking.”Emmett de Monterey’s memoir, “Go the Way Your Blood Beats,” offers a captivating and poignant account of his life as a gay, disabled individual growing up in 1980s London. Drawing from his personal experiences, de Monterey provides readers with a vivid exploration of the challenges and triumphs he faced in a society that was both ableist and homophobic. Emmett de Monterey added: “I’m thrilled and delighted that Genesius Pictures will be developing my book for TV. I’ve admired the company ever since seeing their beautiful film ‘Mrs Lowry & Son,’ and am sure they will bring the same originality and sensitivity to telling my story.” The title of this engaging memoir exploring Emmett de Monterey’s life growing up gay and disabled (he has cerebral palsy) in 1980s London comes from James Baldwin: “You have to go the way your blood beats. If you don’t live the only life you have, you won’t live some other life, you won’t live any life at all…”

Even though he was still just a child, he also had to come to terms with the fact that many in the disabled community were not best pleased by his documentary and media coverage. In fact, many felt angry and let down. His diverse experiences have not only informed his writing but also have allowed him to bring a fresh and informed perspective to the themes he explores in his memoir, “Go the Way Your Blood Beats.” Emmett in no way regrets the surgery – he says he wouldn’t be walking as well as he is today without it –but the experience was exhausting and emotionally draining for both him and his parents. De Monterey’s prose is engaging and emotionally charged, drawing readers into his world and allowing them to experience the highs and lows of his journey. His writing style is both introspective and introspective, inviting readers to empathize with his struggles and triumphs. Through his storytelling, de Monterey creates a sense of connection and understanding, fostering a deeper appreciation for the resilience of the human spirit. It was that enforced invisibility that made Emmett want to share his story in his own words – to reclaim his own narrative years after tabloids cast their own agenda onto his narrative.

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Viking has landed debut author Emmett de Monterey’s “beautiful, powerful” memoir Go the Way Your Blood Beats following an exclusive submission. Through his engaging prose, de Monterey invites readers to reflect on their own prejudices and biases, encouraging a deeper understanding of the experiences of those who exist outside societal norms. His memoir is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a call to embrace one’s true self, regardless of societal expectations. Emmett is painfully honest, brutally so in places. His strong voice is bold, brave and courageous. The book shows the resilience of human nature. To have encountered such narrow-minded and judgemental attitudes, and now to be happy and comfortable in your own skin, is to be celebrated. Emmott de Monterey's memoir is a fabulous read that chronicles his journey of growing up disabled and gay in the 1980s and 90s. I was completely engrossed in this book and couldn't put it down. The author's storytelling is a perfect blend of moving, funny, and poignant moments that left a lasting impact.

While Emmett eventually found his own chosen family, he still sees ableism everywhere in society – and says it’s rampant within the LGBTQ+ community too. I cannot put my feelings into words ... I am just very grateful that I was able to read his memoir and that he shared his story with us. His words flow effortlessly, drawing readers into his world with ease. His honesty and vulnerability create a deep connection, making it feel as if you're right there experiencing every emotion alongside him.

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Go the Way Your Blood Beats” offers a comprehensive overview of De Monterey’s personal journey, as he embarks on a series of transformative adventures across continents. From the bustling streets of Tokyo to the tranquil landscapes of South America, the author immerses himself in diverse cultures, encountering a myriad of people who challenge his preconceived notions and broaden his understanding of the world. It sounds a strange thing to say given that I’ve got my happy ending myself but I think that, yes, it’s still very difficult for disabled people if they find themselves to be anything other than heterosexual – and even being heterosexual is quite challenging because ultimately society would still rather that we weren’t visible.” Trafalgar Square was tight with bodies, all noise and glitter. Joanna saw the woman before I did. She was about 50, old to us then. Her hair was shaved into a precise greying quiff. She had tattooed arms and was topless apart from an open leather vest. Her nipples were large, but almost hidden by heavy-looking piercings. My first thought was that her display looked painful. My second was that she looked wonderfully, exuberantly, like herself. The stranger looked proud. Comfortable in her skin in a way I had never been. In this memoir, Emmett de Monterey tells us what it was like growing up as a disabled queer kid in 1980s London. In clear, sometimes harsh and sometimes tender, words, he takes us on a journey that is his life and that he could not simply end to return to another (desired) one. From an early age, de Monterey grappled with the realities of living with cerebral palsy, a condition that shaped his understanding of identity and difference. However, he refused to let his disability define him, instead using it as a wellspring of strength and inspiration for his writing.