The Charisma Myth: How to Engage, Influence and Motivate People

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This book aims to teach you how to develop the charismatic potential that is already inside you. It is well organized and simple to follow, which is important for any self-improvement book. Van Edwards devotes two chapters to vocal cues, which are different than the actual words spoken. We generally take lower pitched voices more seriously, and we can tell if someone has a nervous pitch to their voice. One of the big no-no's in speaking is ending a sentence on a question inflection. This takes away the speakers power and makes the recipient question if the speaker knows what they're talking about.

There are some books which you cannot put down. And then there are certain books that you can read over and over again. Olivia Fox Cabane’s book fuses the ethos of Social Psychology, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Neuropsychology Research with Emotional Intelligence and the Zen Buddhist Philosophies to come up with The Charisma Myth. After reading Robert B. Cialdini’s book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, I would say this another landmark book in my collection. When we interact with other people, we're always sending cues, almost always unknowingly. And hundreds of subtle cues are being sent to us as well.

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It has an exceptional taxonomy of charismatic behaviors. It’s really interesting to hear about the different charisma styles and learn to recognize each of them. When you meet a charismatic person, you get the impression that they have a lot of power and they like you a lot.

I was impressed with the format and organization of this book. Even though this wasn't a topic of particular interest, I will say that other non-fiction guides should follow this setup. There are plenty of exercises, charts, and visual aids designed to reinforce the content. The tips should help any reader practice attentive listening and avoid off-putting physical behavior. It is what helps us forgive ourselves when we've fallen short; it's what prevents internal criticism from taking over and playing across our face, ruining our charisma potential. In this way, self-compassion is critical to emanating warmth. What you're trying to counter act is shame, and few things work better against shame than admiration. For example, most people know by now that crossing your arms and/or legs is a defensive position. I simply find these positions comfortable, so I have to actively remind myself to avoid them. In another example, when speaking to someone in person you should give them your full attention, not sit there and type or screw around with your phone (duh). The number eight on our list are all the biographies and autobiographies of successful, charismatic people .a) focus charisma - the ability to keenly listen, understand, and empathize with people so that they feel deeply understood Do you want to increase your warmth factor? Consider playful visuals like pins or new hair accessories. For increasing your competence factor, use a color like blue to convey calmness. You could follow all the lessons in this book and you still wouldn’t have “charisma,” because it attaches to a person who — in addition to good deportment — has already achieved some measure of fame or infamy, celebrity or notoriety, among the persons she (or he) meets. Warm language might sound like, “I really loved the company retreat yesterday. It was so great getting to know you.” When you craft the closing of your presentation, keep in mind that we remember primarily beginnings and endings. Just as you want to start on a high note, you also want to end on a high note, so avoid ending with Q&A. It's hard to have Q&A as compelling and energetic as your main speech. Almost inevitably Q&A lowers the energy.

Cues are the physical or verbal signals that tell others whether we can be trusted. Learning cues consists of two parts. The first is being aware of your own cues; the second is being aware of cues from others. This awareness in your professional conversations can help you get more wins whether you’re seeking a promotion, pitching an idea, or just networking. Be the first to bring fun into a situation and you’re the charismatic leader. #5 – The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism (by Olivia Fox Cabane) Becoming aware of our own nonverbal cues and learning to manage them can enhance our charisma and influence. Self-compassion - self-acceptance. Positively correlated with emotional resilience, sense of personal responsibility, accountability, sense of connectedness, life satisfaction, positive relationships with others, self-confidence, willingness to admit errors, low self-pity, low depression, low anxiety, improved immune system functioningBefore his career as a comedian, David Nihill was a regular job-hunter like anyone else. On his first day at a new job, he realized he’d shrunk all his shirts in the dryer. He decided to roll with it by rolling up his sleeves so no one would notice how short they were. If you are interested in increasing your ability to be charismatic in your unique setting or employment, this book will give you direct skills to use.”

Words like “loved” and “excited” are warmer and more emotion-based. Words like “brief” and “implement” are a little colder. So let’s tie that to a physical action. Think about what you do if you want to see, hear, smell, or touch something more closely. You lean in.

To grab your attention in the beginning, Fox begins her book by stating the amazing story of Marilyn Monroe and how she incorporated Charisma that made her transform from Norma Jeane Mortenson to the Legendary Sensual Goddess of Hollywood.