22 Things a Woman with Asperger's Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know

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Whether you enjoy it or fear it, you can't get by without small talk. Introduce yourself with confidence at an interview, at a dinner party, at a business conference. Make a great first impression, but most important, demonstrate your interest in the other person.

I would say ‘love yourself as much as you love him’. He’s going to have so many wonderful qualities (because people with Aspergers do!) that you will fall in love with. He will also seem vulnerable in many ways and because women are caretakers you’re going to have this tendency to be motherly and to sometimes ignore your own needs–this applies to AS women as well because we tend to do the same stuff. Love yourself as much as you love him –that’s the advice my own man gave me. No matter what life throws your way, be ready for anything, with these 21 skills that EVERY woman should have: 1. Financial skills. From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfilment both individually and as a couple. Your new book is called 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger’s Syndrome. Is there anything a man with Asperger’s Syndrome should know if he loves a neurotypical woman? One thing is certain in this life: change. But it is how change is managed that can be the difference between surviving and thriving. When you've grasped the concepts of managing change, life is easier for you and those around you.

21. Letting go.

Imagine the sense of relief you would feel performing the Heimlich maneuver on your choking dinner guest or diving into a pool to save a drowning child! First aid and water safety skills are critical and lifesaving — and you never know when you might need them. Niewielkie rozmiary książki usprawiedliwiają skrótowe przedstawienie problemów, jakie mogą napotkać na swojej drodze osoby mające do czynienia na co dzień z bliską osobą z zespołem Aspergera. Książka omawia po kolei rozmaite, bardzo konkretne kwestie związane z życiem z osobą z ZA (partnerem romantycznym, ale nie tylko - przydatna może być każdemu, kto ma w rodzinie lub wśród bliskich znajomych aspiego) w prosty, rzeczowy, szczery do bólu (dosłownie), a niekiedy zabawny sposób, dobrze oddany w przekładzie (ukłony dla tłumaczki). As an autistic man myself, I did enjoy reading this book and it did raise a few valid points in my mind in regards to my marriage. It's interesting to hear about potential shortcomings from an external point of view. Very valuable information for any woman in any type of romantic relationship with a man who has Asperger's Syndrome (AS). Really wish I'd gotten my hands on this sooner (well, honestly, I bought it a few years ago and have just now gotten around to reading it) because I really was feeling very alone with a lot of the struggles that my husband (who has AS) and I were having. Granted, not all of the topics covered in this book apply to me/my husband -- for example, the chapter on lying. In my experience (mostly with kids who are on the spectrum, but also in the years spent with my husband -- 11 years of relationship, the latter 7 years we've been married) people with AS are more often brutally honest. After reading the book and going through some of the events mentioned in this book as typical and accurate, I felt it helpful guidance and highly recommend it especially at the beginning of a relationship.

To those untrained and inexperienced in relating with those on the Spectrum, this book as frank as it's written may very well scare some women off from dating those with AS (Asperger's Syndrome). So that was a concern I had as a reader...how this book as blunt and frank as it is...rather doesn't balance it quite enough with the positives, even though in each chapter there is a deliberate section called "Positive". I found the book almost horrifyingly negative, and also, worse, stereotypical. The point is made at the beginning that not everyone who has AS has the same difficulties, but almost in the next sentence, there are a list of things "all problematic for a person with AS." I almost closed the book then, as the person I am reading the book about does not have a problem with one of the things on that list. It wasn't just the AS men who were pigeon holed, I was constantly riled by reading what kind of woman I must be to have got into a relationship with an AS man.Well yes there’s lots he should know! I’m not neurotypical but I am a woman and I would say that many AS women will still have certain romantic expectations. Possibly a lot of that is social conditioning; many of us possess a very naïve Jane Austen/Walt Disney approach to love. Much of what he would want to know about dating any woman would be found in my book 22 Things. There are things that she’s going to want from him and he’s not going to know what they are or why they are necessary so he needs to do his research. It’s like if you’re going to another country– you want to do a little investigation before you go, so that you know what the customs, rituals and expectations are. There are differences between men and women to begin with, but I also firmly believe that people with ASDs are a subculture. The more I get involved in this world the more I realize that. If we’re going to co-mingle, cohabitate and coexist, we really have to engage in an ongoing cultural exchange of ideas and traits and be very open-minded and willing to listen to one another and to try participating in the other sides’ cultural activities and norms. Parenting styles have also shifted to the point where parents are so afraid of the media-inflated dangers in the world that they suspend reality for their kids. And they have particular fears for their daughters. Many girls get driven around, waited on, have schoolwork done for them – some parents have even tried to negotiate their first jobs — and young women are left without the muscle to do what they can actually do for themselves. They are left doubting their abilities and their judgment and fear trying something on their own. After I finished it, I did some research online, and the author actually has Asperger's syndrome, too. This made me rethink most of my criticisms of this book. What I took for depression and a bad marriage was actually just the overly severe and compartmentalized way that Aspies can describe things.

If you could only give one piece of advice to women in a relationship with a man with Asperger syndrome what would it be? From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfillment both individually and as a couple. If you feel your spouse/partner may have Aspergers, I highly recommend this book. It may have you feeling a bit down, however, you will have a piece of the puzzle as to why he acts the way he does. Sending much love and strength to all with Aspergers and their partners.This book will help women to understand the male Asperger's mind and, equally, it can help men with AS to see things from their partner's perspective. It will also be of interest to counsellors working with couples where the male partner has Asperger's Syndrome. I would also suggest it's appropriate for platonic friendships with those on the Spectrum as well as family members and coworkers in its broadly-relevant themes excluding the sexuality aspects. Just good, solid advice to look to and anticipate. Even for those professionally trained to work with those on the Spectrum, an excellent refresher.

I did not however appreciate a few other points which I found to be generally false or condescending. Things like "he will take you and the relationship for granted", "just as the relationship progresses, he might get bored", "[some autistic men] knew they were being cruel but didn't care, suggesting a certain emotional detachedness", "stop calling him entirely to make him intrigued", "his moral compass won't always point north", "aspies are good liars", "they may blame you for something that is their own fault just because you are there", "he will put himself first", that an autistic man may feel ineffectual in times of crisis and think "why bother?" and not support you, "he will not care about the things you do without him"... you get the idea. The same goes for online communication. Figure out who to can help you and make some excellent connections. You’ll never know what a difference they can make in your career or life. 17. Self-promotion skills. I am inspired by the people that I talk to all the time that have ASDs. They inspire me when they’re down because I want to help them and I can’t rest until I’ve made some kind of difference in the world. They inspire me when they’re thriving and successful; that gives me hope, because I too still struggle daily with trying to get along in this world. So we’re all in this together, pulling each other up. There’s a wonderful burgeoning sense of community in the world of ASDs which is amazing because of the isolation inherent in autism. It's very informative, and covers a ton of good information. Here are some examples of the 22 points: "There will probably be no public displays of affection," "He will take you and the relationship for granted," "There will be times when he embarrasses you," and "People will tell you he's just being a man." The topics hard to read, but they're important to read. Loosen up, don't take yourself so seriously all the time and learn to have fun (yes, some people actually have to learn how). Humor has a way of diffusing a tense situation, like when your kids are driving you crazy. A well-timed, appropriate joke can build rapport in the office, too. If you can master this, you can make life a whole lot more enjoyable. 16. Socializing skills.

19. Boundary-setting skills.

Actually, many of the things described do not fit my man. Maybe he is not AS. Many of them do fit me. Maybe I am AS. Or maybe the book is so vague it is useless. PDF / EPUB File Name: 22_Things_a_Woman_Must_Know_If_She_Loves_a_Man_with_Aspergers_Syndrome_-_Rudy_Simone.pdf, 22_Things_a_Woman_Must_Know_If_She_Loves_a_Man_with_Aspergers_Syndrome_-_Rudy_Simone.epub