The Trauma Cleaner: One Woman's Extraordinary Life in the Business of Death, Decay, and Disaster

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Sandra, then a boy, had a traumatic upbringing, an adopted child who was rejected and sent to live in a shed in the garden, or a bungalow, at age 9, 11 or 13, his and others' recollections vary. It's always better to tell the truth as that way you don't have to have a good memory, If you can't keep your story straight, you are probably lying. The chapters which deal with trauma cleaning are seemingly told by Krasnostein as the observer. But by placing herself in the story she gets in the way. These chapter are interesting, but are little more than a documentation of what Krasnostein sees. The chapters which reveal Sandra’s life history are told from a third person point of view and while gut-wrenching, held little interest given the expectation from the title. The transitions in point of view from chapter to chapter make the book a little difficult to read.

I went into this book thinking it would mostly be about trauma cleaning, but it was more than that. From one trauma to the next, we learn of the murder of Sandra’s girlfriend, Maria, by a nightclub bouncer. Krasnostein uses repetition to speculate on his motives: This quote sums up my experience of Sanda... clear it breaks her heart to see anyone suffer. She supports people emotionally - helping them let go of emotional trauma as well as their physical nightmares. Really beautiful- real - and inspiring. But there is something else of which I have become convinced over my years of speaking with her. Most people Sandra’s age can tell you in detail about how they came up, about the excitements and tragedies of being a young adult out in the world for the first time. This isn’t because their brains are any better than Sandra’s or because they did less drugs or drank less or had kinder childhoods. It is because they’ve told their stories more often. Because they were consistently surrounded by friends or parents or partners or children who were interested in seeing them as a whole person. Before she was a trauma cleaner, Sandra Pankhurst was many things: husband and father, drag queen, gender reassignment patient, sex worker, small businesswoman, trophy wife... but as a little boy, raised in violence and excluded from the family home, she just wanted to belong. Now she believes her clients deserve no less. A woman who sleeps among garbage she has not put out for 40 years. A man who bled quietly to death in his living room. A woman who lives with rats, random debris, and terrified delusion. The still life of a home vacated by accidental overdose.Krasnostein gives us story perspective in a light, non-manipulative way. That last line is sparse yet stark, simple yet powerful. Before she was a trauma cleaner, Sandra Pankhurst was many things: husband and father, drag queen, gender reassignment patient, sex worker, small businesswoman, trophy wife…

Peter's adoptive family treated him abysmally (think beatings, starvation, isolation). The recollections shared were difficult to read. As Krasnostein so eloquently phrased it "In the taxonomy of pain there is only the pain inflicted by touching and the pain inflicted by not touching. Peter grew up an expert in both. " As an adult Peters self imposed isolation from his wife and two sons was traumatic. So too the physical and social ramifications of being transgender, reinventing himself from male to female. With limited options she turned to drugs and alcohol, earnt her money through sex work and prostitution. Sandra was brutally raped and assaulted then later still became critically ill but was ruled inelligible for a lung transplant. All traumatic events dealt with and put behind her. Sarah Krasnostein’s writing is warm and curious. And, carefully, it draws a portrait of Pankhurst you’ll remember long after you’ve finished reading—a woman who is quietly, wonderfully triumphant while standing at the middle and centre of despair.’ I loved the complexity and subtlety of this book. Krasnostein has a way to connect with her subject that left me touched and even shaken at times. I thought she did a wonderful job seeking out the details of her character's life and building a profile that's multi-layered and lucid. Her language is sometimes a bit too lyrical for my taste but I'm going to forgive her that for the intimate portrait she has conveyed of Sandra and of the times she lived in. That was a time when transgender people had no rights and prostitution was for the vast majority of them the only option. A transgender former prostitute cleans up the fetid houses of the psychotic, the hopeless and the murdered. Sounds like some dubious TLC special, but it’s a fascinating bio of Sandra Pankhurst… Revelatory.’On the bad days sometimes all we can manage to do is simply just breathe, but we must never never give up our fight for life. That would be a terrible tradgedy, and we would never know the end of our own story. Marilyn was witty and well-read, but her world was falling in on her. She did have cancer, she was probably alcoholic. This was the physical manifestation of the pain and isolation in which she was living. In each of the jobs was the unsettling sense of pain and mental illness. Krasnostein is prone to making such sweeping statements without any supporting detail or commentary from Sandra showing she believes this.

This book is a must read for anyone who has been through trauma, as well as an education to those who have not. Krasnostein’s language evokes in us the visceral aspects of a situation – the pain and pleasure of those involved. She says of Sandra, then still Peter, practising his female voice in the shower when wife Linda is out: “the refrain of thrumming along his veins that signifies his only certainty and which says: you don’t belong here”. Please be aware that the delivery time frame may vary according to the area of delivery - the approximate delivery time is usually between 1-2 business days.Her capacity for empathy and compassion inspires me to be a better, kinder and more loving person to others as well as to myself. A woman who sleeps among garbage she has not put out for forty years. A man who bled quietly to death in his loungeroom. A woman who lives with rats, random debris and terrified delusion. The still life of a home vacated by accidental overdose. During my time with Sandra, I met a bookbinder, a sex offender, a puppeteer, a cookbook hoarder, a cat hoarder, a wood hoarder […] I heard Sandra bend and flex language into words and idioms she made her own: “supposably”, “sposmatically”, “hands down pat!” She passed away after an extraordinary life with her family around her and her dog Moet,” Matisse Mitelman said. “The relationship started as a lawyer and client but it developed into a much broader and more diffuse friendship. She’s a spectacular and incredibly empathetic person.”