Heartiste On Game

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I’ve now been married to this woman a few years less than all the years I’ve spent not having known her. I’ve photographed her face more times than I could possibly remember. On certain days when we cross each other’s space while we’re carrying on with the mundane movements of our lives, I sometimes catch a glimpse of her face and realize that there isn’t a line on her face that I don’t thoroughly recognize. On other days, even when I’m gazing deeply into her eyes, lost in conversation, I realize her face is a total and utter mystery to me. Some days she is a vision of home–calming and steadfast and on other days she is a land foreign—a curiosity and complexity that I’m eager to discover and rediscover time and again Yet I have a strong memory from around this time of meeting a besotted Kurt going on and on about this girl called Mary Lou Lord, how in love with her he was, and how he was going to move to Boston to be with her,” True wrote. “A fantasy perhaps, but he believed it at the time.”

Lord went to visit friends in London, confused. That night, she watched as Nirvana came on a British television program. Before the performance, Cobain said, “I just want everyone in this room to know Courtney Love, the lead singer of the pop band Hole, is the best F*** in the world.” Jennifer Garner (entering her Skeletor years) featured on the cover of People’s Most Beautiful 2019 Issue. I grieve over the fact that I grew up in a society and a time period where one of the first things I was taught about women from the well meaning voices all around me were commentaries about the appearance or “usefulness” of their bodies. Look at how beautiful you are! Well aren’t you a gorgeous princess. Oh my watch out, she’s going to be heartbreaker! Wow, you’re so sexy. Oh that Dad is going to have a hard time fending off all the boys when she grows up. I grieve this for many reasons, but one of them is because it has obscured the fact that bodies truly are beautiful and mysteriously amazing beyond explaining. Not as the object of someone else’s judgement or commentary, but INTRISICALLY beautiful in its own right. Think about your body for a moment. Big or small, scarred or markless, flat noised or sharply angular, long or stout, curvy or straight. It is a marvel and should BLOW ALL OUR MINDS! The way we often talk about bodies (women’s bodies in particular) strives to strip away their universally intrinsic beauty and instead cheaply commodifies it and seeks to take ownership of it away from them and into a thing for others to posses and place a value on. Like everyone else, me included, she isn’t immune to the damages of such toxic narratives about our bodies and from time to time feels that her body isn’t particularly beautiful. I won’t tell you that she is beautiful. I will simply tell you what I try and tell her on my better days (and I fail at it more often than I like). I love you. Please know that love is a slow burner of a thing. It has taken me awhile to get here, but the impossibly kind and generous life you lead has redefined for me what it means to be beautiful. Your sharply intelligent and creative mind engages and challenges me. And yes…your body is amazing. Not because I say so, but because it simply is. And because I’ve earned the right for you to care a little what I think of you, on our walk the other day, I took one camera and this one lens and I wanted to show you, YOU, as I see youThe girls most strongly affected are those in the bottom half of the ability distribution (as measured by the Peabody Picture Vocabulary Test), those with at least one college-educated parent, and those attending a school in the upper half of the socioeconomic distribution. She does it because she wants to send two unmistakable messages. The first message, to the chads, is that she is on the market. The second message, to CYF, is don’t get any ideas about us. Weidmann's most absurd claim is that Adolf Hitler was a beta male who wouldn't have started WWII if he'd read Weidmann's blog: [1] Trump Derangement Syndrome is a consequence of having a President you hate who’s smarter than you and knows how to push your buttons. In other words, Trump has Game. P]erhaps, even more sinisterly, Hitler became the man he did when, as a young man in the grip of hot unrequited love, his Jewish princess “rejected” him for the charming alpha males Hitler despised. What followed from that irreparable wound to his heart was an act of id vengeance that would set fire to the world. Was WWI [ sic] then, the revenge of a beta male scorned?

A part of me feels not just pity, but even tender admiration, for young Hitler’s romantic idealism, so pure of thought and intention. This was a Hitler, however misguided, who denied a cynical world its tribute in parcels of his uncorrupted soul. How might things have turned out differently had a strong male presence — an alpha male mentor — shown him the way to fulfill his burning desire? https://angrywhitemen.org/2016/10/08/james-weidmann-trump-boasting-about-groping-women-is-normal-healthy-heterosexual-male-banter/#more-17843 Because I just admitted to her that she is losing respect for me, something she might even noticed herself. Of course nobody knows what I’m talking about, which is half the fun of it. They can sort of guess by the context. But I never explain it. I pretend they misheard.

Segregation was not a long-term strategy. I’m surprised it even lasted for the 90 years that it did...