On Becoming a Person

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This is the person who we would like to be. It consists of our goals and ambitions in life, and is dynamic – i.e., forever changing. The ideal self in childhood is not the ideal self in our teens or late twenties. Self Concept ... the organized consistent conceptual gestalt composed of perceptions of the characteristics of 'I' or 'me' and the perceptions of the relationships of the 'I' or 'me' to others and to various aspects of life, together with the values attached to these perceptions. It is a gestalt which is available to awareness though not necessarily in awareness. It is a fluid and changing gestalt, a process, but at any given moment it is a specific entity. (Rogers, 1959) [25]

In other words, we are “condemned to be free” (we can be whatever we want to), but we cage ourselves to exist according to certain principles (usually thrown at us by others), and we cage others by thinking that we know how they should live their lives. Unconditional positive regard is a concept in psychology introduced by Carl Rogers, a pioneer in client-centered therapy. A person whose self-concept is incongruent with her or his real feelings and experiences will defend himself because the truth hurts. Self Actualization The idea behind it is deeply rooted within the philosophy of existentialism (Kierkegaard, Buber, Sartre): namely, that we are free to choose to become whoever we want to, but are frustrated because we are trapped in an existence which doesn’t express us. As predicted, the British group scored significantly higher than the Indian group on 10 out of 12 scales, including time competence, inner-directedness, self-actualizing values, feeling reactivity, and self-acceptance.

Self-Concept (starts at 2.04 mins)

According to Rogers, people could only self-actualize if they had a positive view of themselves (positive self-regard). This can only happen if they have unconditional positive regard from others – if they feel that they are valued and respected without reservation by those around them (especially their parents when they were children). A person’s ideal self may not be consistent with what actually happens in life and the experiences of the person. Hence, a difference may exist between a person’s ideal self and actual experience. This is called incongruence. The values attached to experiences, and the values that are a part of the self-structure, in some instances, are values experienced directly by the organism, and in some instances are values introjected or taken over from others, but perceived in distorted fashion, as if they had been experienced directly.

Carl Rogers took these features of a good relationship and applied them to his work as a psychologist and counselor. The result was a revolutionary way of dealing with a person's issues that overturned the traditional psychologist-patient model, and which had broader implications for successful human interaction. And the safe environment can be created only within the “genuineness and transparency” of a good and trusting relationship.The environment a person is exposed to and interacts with can either frustrate or assist this natural destiny. If it is oppressive, it will frustrate; if it is favorable, it will assist. As the individual perceives and accepts into his self structure more of his organic experiences, he finds that he is replacing his present value system—based extensively on introjections which have been distortedly symbolized—with a continuing organismic valuing process. Rogers, C., & Kramer, P. D. (1995). On becoming a person : a therapist’s view of psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin. According to Rogers (1967), the human organism has an underlying “actualizing tendency”, which aims to develop all capacities in ways that maintain or enhance the organism and move it toward autonomy.