QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability at Work and in Life

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Immediately, my wife took notice. She'd make a suggestion, preparing for the worst, and I'd thank her. She was stunned. We attend too many seminars. We take too many classes. We buy too many books. We play too many audios in our cars. It's all wasted if we're unclear on what learning really is: Learning is not attending, listening or reading. Nor is it merely gaining knowledge. Learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know. It's about changing. Now Miller takes readers to the next level to show how they can use the power of the QBQ! and personal accountability every day. Too often in this country today people act the victim. "I couldn't do what I needed to do because that person didn't do their thing." "It's not my fault I burnt my tongue on that coffee, the cup wasn't clearly enough labeled 'HOT!'" You get the idea. So much of the genius in this country seems to be spent in figuring out how to avoid personal responsibility. At work. At home. At school. In parenting. For anything. Does anyone think this is a good thing? In any way?

No evidence. There is nothing, not even an anecdote, that shows anyone applying the QBQ principle and having their life or business improve. In his bestselling book QBQ! The Question Behind the Question, John G. Miller revealed how personal accountability helps to create opportunity, overcome obstacles, and achieve goals by eliminating blame, complaining, and procrastination. The result? Stronger organizations, more dynamic teams, and healthier relationships. Incorrect Questions (IQs) are the "why," "when," and "who" questions that lead to victim thinking, procrastination, and blame. Contrasting QBQs with IQs is an excellent way to learn how to put the QBQ into action. Let's take a look at the following IQ/QBQ comparisons: So it's these five principles-Learning, Ownership, Creativity, Service, and Trust-that give us a tremendous advantage in our lives, but not without practicing personal accountability. And the QBQ helps us do just that. This book seems like it would be best for a passive-aggressive manager to give to his employees to read so that he doesn't have to spend time training them.

Most of us have heard the saying, "Creativity is thinking outside the box." There's a lot of truth in that, but to me true creativity is this: We have countless opportunities each day to make choices. And what is it that we are always choosing? Our next thought. A compelling opportunity for change exists in these individual moments. Taking charge of our thoughts can literally transform our lives. By helping us make better choices, the QBQ enables us to do just that. In this book, we will explore the QBQ! Advantage Principles-five fundamental concepts or values that guide our behavior. The QBQ! Advantage Principles are:

Although this exchange happened years ago, I still remember how impressed I was with David's commitment to learning. I thanked him and said I'd send him a copy of my first book when it came out. From the bestselling author of QBQ! The Question Behind the Question comes a workbook to help you on your journey to embrace personal accountability.

On the home front, I have a 9-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old son, and I have been preaching the concept of personal accountability to them for a couple of years now. We have always had great kids who listen to their parents and care, but it's definitely taken it to another level. They solve their own problems (well, most of the time) but they own their choices and consequences. I was proud when my daughter was selected as the award recipient in her class for, you guessed it, ownership. As for my son, a funny moment happened yesterday. After letting our dog out of her room for being in doggy timeout, my son promptly told our dog, "Maya, it's your choice if you want to be good or bad." Couldn't have said it better myself. At QBQ, Inc., we exist to help you, the QBQ! reader and learner, as well as our customer, apply the QBQ! material at work and home. So, please, never hesitate to reach out to us. The Question Behind the Question is built on the observation that our first reactions are often negative, bringing to mind Incorrect Questions (IQs). But if in each moment of decision we can instead discipline ourselves to look behind those initial Incorrect Questions and ask ourselves better ones (QBQs), the questions themselves will lead us to better results. I have relayed the concept of QBQ to my team and have noticed changes in my employees' thinking. I now see employees coming into my office to begin complaining or venting about a particular situation and, before I can even utter a word, they immediately start saying "but what I can do is...". The attitude has shifted to one of problem solving, which is important when the organization shifts its priorities. It has allowed for greater flexibility within my team.

Blame and "whodunit" questions solve nothing. They create fear, destroy creativity and build walls. Instead of brainstorming and working together to get things done, we blame-storm and accomplish nothing. There's not a chance we'll reach our full potential until we stop blaming each other and start practicing personal accountability. When a light switch is flipped the flow of energy that is released reaches the lightbulb in an instant, bringing it to life. Similarly, asking the right kind of question-a QBQ-is the first step to empowering what Miller calls the Advantage Principles-five essential practices that will lead to a richer experience in every aspect of life: Personal accountability is fine, but this book presents it as a silver bullet for success and doesn't examine the nuances of it. Anyone can fall into the “Why?” trap. I asked a department manager once how many people worked for him, and he said, “About half!” It’s a funny response, but he was undoubtedly the kind of manager who would also ask the IQs “Why can’t I find good people?”“Why doesn’t the younger generation really want to work?” and “Why don’t I get more support from upper management?” Here's an integrity test for anyone who's part of an organiziation: Does what we say about our organization while we're at work match what we say at home? If it's positive at work and negative a few hours later at home, we have a choice to make. Here's an idea we should all consider:

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The QBQ is a tool that helps leaders at all levels practice personal accountability by asking better questions and making better choices in the moment. My first thought was Hire this man! Talk about going the extra mile! He was clearly not your average employee. And the more I thought about the outstanding thing he’d just done, the more I wanted to talk to him. So as soon as I could get his attention, I waved him over. By then I was thinking profound and professional thoughts like Cool! But what I said was, “Come on, you’ve been awfully busy. How did you have time to go get it?” Smiling and seemingly growing taller before my eyes, he said, “I didn’t, sir. I sent my manager!”