Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly

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The book opens with her in the World Trade Center on 9/11, which she uses as an example of how training can come to the fore in a life and death situation. …when it seems like the world is ending, being willing to help others is the antidote to fearShe was awarded a Medal of Valor for her actions that day. The tale of her experiences there is both chilling and uplifting. The word empathy is defined as the ability to emotionally understand another person by assuming their point of view. However, a lot of people think of empathy as being synonymous with weakness. They see an empathetic person as someone who is gullible and easy to manipulate psychologically. Empathy, in fact, is a strength. It utilizes your discernment and powers of observation. By being empathetic, you become a better negotiator, which is why empathy should be your weapon of choice in your arsenal of communication strategies. Becoming Bulletproof PDF is a self-help book that helps you to be more productive and get more things done. It is specifically written for busy professionals to help them prepare for stressful situations in their lives.

The next time you see someone you admire or even despise, ask yourself, “What is it about this person I can learn from?” Perhaps it’s the confident way they enter a room or their friendly smile. Or it might be the unflattering way they speak to their wife or how they seem to complain about everything. Each observation, both good and bad, can become your guidepost In keeping with tradition, this agent did not listen and tell. Loose lips may sink ships, and may be what makes DC go round, but you will be disappointed if you are hoping for dirt on the presidents (or other people) she has helped protect. She does, however, include a section near the end of the book in which she reports on some of the more laudable qualities manifested by those under her protection. It does not take a career in law enforcement to come up with some conclusions about which of these people she esteems more than others. You don’t have to work as hard to get information. In most cases, the other person will offer it willingly. I cannot recommend this book enough and I'd love to thank Evy for writing this book and sharing not only such invaluable, life saving information, but also her personal journey, which is just as fascinating. I loved this book so much, the quotes, the advice, everything.What you’ve just witnessed is called mirroring, or sometimes known as mimicry. When two people fall into communicative sync, their verbal and nonverbal behaviors will align and mirror one another. For the most part, this process occurs unconsciously, such that if you bring it to someone’s attention, they’re usually unaware it even happened. Mirroring takes place through speech, paralinguistics, and body language, and multiple research studies show that it can play a big role in facilitating rapport.

Every ounce of energy you waste worrying about someone else’s progress or performance is one less ounce of energy you can spend on yourself, on building your skills and making your own strides forward. Most people have tells that reveal that they're lying. These tells are not universal. The "can't look you in the eyes while lying" idea is false. If you tell people that you notice their change in voice or body language, you're showing them what their tells are, and helping them become a better liar. Two things are bound to happen in every negative encounter: 1) you come to resent the person you listened to, and 2) you come to resent yourself for listening to them. There is nothing worse than looking at someone and thinking “I’m in this shitty situation because I listened to you”. Once you’ve moved through your emotional hurdles, accept where you are now. Don’t try to start from where you had been or where you wish to be. Live in your new reality along with the mindset that this is your problem to solve. The mark of a resilient mind is one that can look frankly at the circumstances surrounding you. STEP 3: SHIFT TO THE SOLUTION MINDSETEvy wrote, “I was a female Special Agent for more than twelve years in a male-dominated profession. I wish I could say that during my career everything was fair, that I was always treated justly and as an equal, but that wouldn’t be true. The path I walked was difficult at times and I faced many adversities along the way. But over the course of my career, I learned that I couldn’t force others to respect me or see me as their equal. Once I came to accept that, I no longer allowed other people’s opinion of me to determine my self-worth, my demeanor, or my performance. I achieved what I wanted to in the way that I wanted to do it, and then I let the results speak for themselves.” As we’ve already discussed, whenever you start any conversation, it’s best to begin by asking open-ended questions. It’s only later in the conversation when you want to know specific information that you should start asking close-ended questions. By asking too many closed-ended questions at the beginning, you’ll wear yourself out by attempting to obtain individual facts rather than allowing the person to offer their information openly and freely. Or worse yet, you’re giving them the opportunity to say as little as possible. Remember, when the aim is to gather information, the goal is to get the other person to do most of the talking. Self-help books really aren’t my thang, but my best friend gave me this book so I wanted to read it right away. It was a mixed bag. Happy some, whining more. There are two basic streams in Becoming Bulletproof. The first is the author’s memoir of seeking out a career in law enforcement and ultimately capping that with years of work in the Secret Service. This was fascinating, offering a look at what it really takes to become a cop or an agent in the USSS. She is currently a co-host on Bravo’s reality series Spy Games. This last item is not given space in the book.