Not Safe For Work: Author of the viral essay 'My boyfriend, a writer, broke up with me because I am a writer'

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We have come up with a way to discuss and punish the most violent forms of harassment and assault, but not the experiences and dynamics that live in the vast grey space where most discrimination takes place, much more subtly and insidiously, perpetrated by men and women alike. I felt personally that I’m just a little bit out of the age range for this as some of the situations in the book were fairly obviously on the way and she just didn’t seem to pick up on the cues. behind the glitter and the justice, everyone is tarnished and compromised - including even our narrator.

From my perch outside my boss’s office, I saw how little my personal opinion mattered, how interchangeable and dispensable I was. I am the product of years of social conditioning, still inclined to make other people feel comfortable, regardless of my own discomfort. How can I separate my desire to raise awareness and increase discussion about complicity in Hollywood from my desire to be one of the voices in the conversation? When I drove onto the studio lot for my first day of work, I was 23 years old and considered myself fiercely principled.Everyone likes to speak loudly and frequently about how committed they are to diversity and inclusion in the workplace and on screen. We urgently need to develop avenues for conversations about all the behaviour that lives in this grey space.

I don’t know how the daughter (I keep saying daughter as she was unnamed in the book) kept her patience and was mostly able to stay polite and courteous as I think I would have cut ties very early on. She gets a job in an agency through family connections – her mother is a well known, ball-bustin’ lawyer.When someone senior tells you how pretty you look, you smile and thank him - and make a mental note never to wear that dress alone with him again.

I was complimented for having “good energy”, and my “niches” were identified as “women” and “books”.He ended up leaving that production company shortly thereafter, so I didn’t feel compelled to engage in further communication. If the bar for tolerable behaviour was on the floor before – no, make that underground – then now, it’s hovering just above floor level. It’s a high-wire balancing act of mixed messaging – no easy feat, but I have so many years of practice. This summarises the theme of the book pretty well, as a Hollywood wannabe climbs the slippery slope to greatness.