Poor: Grit, courage, and the life-changing value of self-belief

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Throughout her life she encountered people who gave her hope by showing her she was worth more, that she deserved more and therefore raising her self-belief. Once such teacher Mrs Atkinson had a fresh towel, facecloth and clean underwear ready for her every morning before school to wash and change. It was this kindness and support from that teacher and many more that got her where she is today. Growing up in a working class community in Coventry to Irish parents, Katriona O'Sullivan dealt with far more trauma and poverty than any child should ever know. In her book Poor, Katriona speaks about her hardship growing up as a child of parents who were drug addicts, and how ofttimes it was school and kind teachers that first taught her that she deserved more than what she had, and instilled a love of learning and education within her.

Poor: Grit, courage, and the life-changing value of self-belief

For the people who can’t recover from that, it is no surprise that patterns repeat themselves. Even for O’Sullivan, who by any measure is a huge success – happily married with three children, an impressive research career, an expert on access to education, and one of the most remarkable people you will ever meet – that voice is still there, but quieter now. “There will always be a small part of me that just wants to be loved by my parents,” she says, and she apologises for the tears that spring to her eyes. “I think we carry our childhood with us. That’s the long-lasting residue from mine.” I felt ashamed but they didn’t seem to judge me. They reminded me of the teachers who reached out to me when I was younger, or the kind lady in our local shop who would give me food because she knew I was hungry. They told me to relax, that they would help. They paid for my childcare. I spent the whole year fighting with our maths teacher but if I wanted to choose psychology for my degree I had to do higher level maths in TAP and this scuppered me. But I found my way. My friend Liviu – another mature student who was excellent at Maths – tutored me and reminded me it was going to be okay. Teenager Katriona dropped out of school, despite being academically bright, as she dealt with a crisis pregnancy, homelessness and isolation. Poor is the extraordinary story – moving, funny, brave, and sometimes startling – of how Katriona turned her life around. During her schooldays there had been teachers who looked out for her – beacons of stability in a chaotic childhood. They planted seeds of self-belief. In Dublin when she sought help, she found mentors whose encouragement revived that self-belief. She got her act together, got a flat and a job as a cleaner, and got into Trinity College. Today Dr Katriona O’Sullivan is an award-winning lecturer whose work explores barriers to education.The next couple of years were difficult, dealing not only with the trauma of her own childhood, but also with a baby. We normalise the struggle of life with a newborn for older, middle-class mothers, she points out, “but young mothers are punished for the same thing”. To her horror, O’Sullivan found the pattern of her childhood repeating itself: it was easy to forget the trauma of her life if she was out at pubs and clubs, drinking and taking drugs; desperate for love, she confused it with sex.

From homeless and expecting at 15 to a lecturer at Trinity

Before she returned to education and became an award-winning lecturer, Katriona O’Sullivan was a cleaner at Connolly Station in Dublin. There are no doctors, lawyers or graduates in my recent family … Katriona O’Sullivan PhD wouldn’t have really fitted on my social welfare card or my lone parent’s benefit book. Without the opportunity to breathe in knowledge, to step slowly into this beautiful place, I would have never been able to succeed. It was the secure base from which I was able to navigate my educational path. Addiction, too, is seen as a personal failing rather than a complex issue. “There’s nobody I know who is addicted to drugs who planned that,” says O’Sullivan. “Especially for women with addiction, we do not provide enough support and services. My mother was judged so harshly, more than my dad, for being an addict. We need to look at how we moralise around addiction, and poverty.”

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After announcing her first pregnancy to her family, Katriona said she found herself homeless. She gave birth to her son in Birmingham. When she told me she was in Trinity I thought, if she’s going there, I’m going there”, the author says. That day O’Sullivan marched up to the Trinity Access Programme and asked to be accepted into the college. This was the beginning of her new life in academia. Hands down one of the best books about difficulties of being brought up in poverty & by parents with addictions. In a simplified manner, book covers such topics as co-dependency, co-addiction and the enormous societal pressure that people from "lower class" experience and how difficult it is to escape it. Fast forward seven years and I had achieved my all-time goal; I was a lone parent, I lived in a government-assisted flat in Dublin 1, and I was getting my social welfare. My child was doing his best and so was I. I had a cash-in-hand job cleaning Connolly station. I woke at 6am every morning leaving my son John in bed while I walked to the station and cleaned the dirtiest office you have ever seen in your life. I had it all. But still, I couldn’t shake the feeling of “is this really it?”