How Dare You!: Max And Paddy Notebook Jotter

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Beary Funny: Max and Paddy disguise themselves as dancing bears to obtain a TV screen from a supermarket. Paddy exploits his costume to feel up a little boy's mother.

Oh, noooo! What you doin'? What have you got that on for? Ah, it's on a plate for you! (Paddy) Why you puttin' the plasma on? (Max) You've got your ways of entertainin' women and I've got mine. Green-Eyed Monster: Billy the Butcher is murderously jealous of Paddy for replacing him as Max's bouncing partner.While the event is completely free to attend, those who turn up will be encouraged to donate to the charity, no matter how small the contribution. This isn’t a Tesco advert but when it comes to stuff like this, every little bit really does help. MacGyvering: When Max and Paddy refuse to pay an extortionate repair fee for the motorhome; they break into the garage where it's being held, build a battering ram out of ladders and oil drums, fix it to the roof of the motorhome, and bust their way out of the garage. Innocently Insensitive: What Max thinks he was when he laughed along with his bouncing friends' jokes about Tina's dwarfism. She certainly doesn't agree with him.

Brian: Sponge and a bit of jam. ( Beat) What do you want, son? It's real life, not the frigging Shawshank Redemption.

Memes

The pair arrive in London, and immediately have an altercation with the traffic police. Later, Max spots in a local newspaper a 40th birthday message for his old school friend Kevin 'The Wolfster' Wolfson, who had moved to London some years before. Max and Paddy turn up unannounced at his birthday party and surprise 'The Wolfster', as well as several other old faces from home present for the party. Tina (played by Lisa Hammond), Max's one true love mentioned in the previous episode, turns up. Max tries to make amends with her, and discovers that she is actually married to, and has a child with, The Wolfster. An Offer You Can't Refuse: Raymond makes one with Max and Paddy for his share of the (fictitious) treasure they're pretending to have stolen. In Episode Six, Max and Paddy are being sternly warned about potentially becoming repeat offenders due to associating themselves with Billy the Butcher. However, the police chief admits that they were instrumental in ensuring Billy's arrest, and is willing to let them off. Max suddenly sees CCTV footage of him and Paddy cutting down a speed camera and tossing it into a bush. By the time the police chief notices it, the boys have bailed. Although the series was broadcast two years after Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights, the plot is set immediately after the events of the previous series. Max is the older and more level-headed of the two, roughly 40 years old, and usually pretending to have more life experience than he has actually had, including a stint in the army. Paddy is an idealistic wide boy obsessed with sex, pornography and food. Max often oppressively stares at Paddy or anyone who has offended his tastes and often shouts "H-how dare you!". He also calls people a clown or a melon if they've said something absurd.

GassHole: The pig that Max and Paddy buy from a farmer impulsively ends up filling their motorhome with the stench of its farts. Max actually has to wear goggles to defend his eyes. Heroic Sacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that Max is Daniel's father because it will destroy her family, despite that it means Max and Paddy being in prison because her going to the police and corroborating their story will reveal everything. Eventually, she goes to the Police and gets Max and Paddy released at the cost of keeping her secret, as well as finally letting Max meet Daniel after his release. Max in turn makes his own heroic sacrifice by not telling Daniel that he is his father, and letting Tina's family remain intact. Billy has apparently killed Paddy, and upon hearing the police, Max pleads with Billy to give himself up, shouting “Billy, don’t be a hero!”However, the child, a 10-year-old boy called Daniel, is actually Max's son. Tina warns Max to keep his distance and not reveal the secret, but the following morning he informs Paddy and the pair steal what they think is a school bus with young Daniel aboard. They've got the wrong bus however, and are soon captured by the police and sent directly to prison. The actor/comedian Reece Shearsmith turns up in this episode as one of Max's old friends. The 'Row Row Row Your Boat' sequence on the bus is borrowed from Dirty Harry, and in the scene where The Wolfster writes his telephone number on a beermat and hands it to Max, it is clearly a Peter Kay beermat, tying in with Kay's TV adverts for John Smith's Brewery bitter. ENGINE STARTS Where's he goin' now? Beautiful plasma screen, in't it? I'm gonna get surround-sound speakers. What's wrong with it? Why do you keep buyin' cheap crap, bloody 4p beans and Al-Qaeda water? Because it's cheap. Happily Married: Tina and Kevin Wolfson/"The Wolfster". At the very least, he doesn't make rude jokes about her dwarfism like her first love Max did.

Quote from: "Hoogstraten'sSmilingUlcer"And at least the writers of Two Pints... aren't unbearably smug Continuity Nod: When Young Kenny appears in Episode Four, he still has the impossible to remove tiger facepaint that he got at Brian's fun day in Series 2 of Phoenix Nights. I Am a Humanitarian: When pretending to be brutal gangsters, Paddy pretends to have eaten the last person who insulted him, with a perfectly serious face. Paper-Thin Disguise: Max and Paddy's paramedic disguises during the TV theft in Episode One. Amazingly, no one calls them on it.

GIFs

Gag Penis: [[Gayngster Raymond the Bastard]] says Paddy has one of these, "like a young Burt Reynolds." Tina has an offscreen one in Episode Four that's both intentional and accidental. She tells the Police why Max and Paddy stole a school bus full of children (Max was trying to meet his long lost son), which gets them released from prison but (more immediately) gets them pulled out of the exercise yard just as Raymond The Bastard and cronies are approaching them with the intention of savagely beating and quite possibly killing them. Brian Potter squeezes a few indignant utterances of his signature phrase: "I don't know if you haven't noticed but I'm disabled" into his short cameo in Episode Four.