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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

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Priešingai, ji siekia tiesiog paglostyti tave ir patikinti - tu viską darai gerai, nieko tokio, visiems nutinka, svarbu per daug nesikankinti. This book very gently shows that your not a failure but you do need to work on yourself not the other person. When you're beaten down and feeling trapped and you don't know what the hell is wrong with you, you need this book, which tells you over and over and over and over again: You're okay, you're a good person. How I understood it , was that it’s okay to want and desire a relationship but you cannot let it dictate your life and whilst people can meet your needs we shouldn’t depend on it , we can only depend on ourselves by honouring ourself and asking ‘what do I need ‘. There are many references to alcoholism, which wasn't relevant to my situation, but since the advice is based on the author's personal and professional experience, this makes sense.

This does not mean the wife is an alcoholic and it does not mean she approves of the alcoholic's behavior. Although it almost destroyed her when her twelve-year-old son Shane died in a ski accident in 1991, eventually Melody picked up the pieces of her life again. After the death of my daughter and my wife's descent back into the trappings of alcoholism I thought that I was doing everything right. Per visą knygą ji dalina patarimus, kaip atsiriboti nuo kitų žmonių problemų, kaip rūpintis savimi, kaip išlįsti iš nuolatinės kaltės ir savigraužos, kurios būna nemotyvuotos, nulemtos to per didelio (per didelio = kai jau tu dėl to kankiniesi, o ne džiaugiesi) susitelkimo į kitus. When the author said she didn't come at this from a scientific background I was willing to overlook that until she got to the traits of codependency.Now, I have never been a big advocate for self-improvement books, but I have to say that this book was very enlightening.

My concern is the presumptuous presentation style of this book's contents, which seems to imply that healing codependence issues (or alcoholism, etc) is dependent on adherence to the 12 Steps - as if codependency is inextricably linked with 12 Steps view of illness and addiction, which is potentially damaging nonsense, in my view. It's sort of hard to rate self-help books so I'm just going to rate this one on how helpful it was to me in particular. This ground-breaking book is even more relevant today, as readers confront new, urgent challenges with greater self-awareness than when it first entered the national conversation over 35 years ago. There's a bit too much emphasis on coping with living with people with addiction (mainly alcoholism) and God is mentioned a bit, but those are easily adapted or ignored if your beliefs lie elsewhere. They are helping you to "rescue" yourself and stop worrying about the things you can't control, and this book serves as an excellent tool to steer you in the right path.In this Blink to Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More, you’ll learn some hard truths about the nature of codependency, as well as steps you can take and attitudes you can adopt to begin traveling down the path to recovery. Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency – the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another – has helped millions of readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins. After eight months of treatment, Melody left the hospital clean and sober, ready to take on new goals: helping others get sober, and getting married and having a family of her own. For any men reading this review (I can't imagine there will be too many), I will give my strongest recommendation to Dr Robert Glover's No More Mr Nice Guy, which is essentially a co-dependence book aimed at men.

You can change your choices at any time by visiting Cookie preferences, as described in the Cookie notice. I was introduced to the concept of codependency by my therapist -- which she described as letting others' feelings dictate our own -- and ever since, it has felt like a door has unlocked.

So she reminds us, over and over, that the path to recovery, sanity, and happiness starts with minding our own business and taking care of ourselves. Be clear and upfront about the nature of the content so people are honestly informed about what they are getting into. With practical advice and real-life examples, it offers tools for building healthier relationships and finding personal fulfillment.

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