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Posted 20 hours ago

The PDA Paradox: The Highs and Lows of My Life on a Little-Known Part of the Autism Spectrum

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ZTS2023
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I don’t know about you but, from a young age, the overwhelming and ever present demand of conforming and following precise life points has been the most intense and inescapable demands of my life.

I can relate to that woman – its completely understandable. Its her body, and someone trying to govern when she can use her bladder is toxic – she should be allowed autonomy and the ability to use this basic right at her own discretion/as need be. Its not appropriate of her boss to say that. A lot of autistic people have had very negative experiences with authority which was not about them, a lot of autistic people have extremely pathological parental relationships where there are major boundary issues, abuse, and toxic desires to silence, control, bully, shame and suppress autistic people doing what is normal and needed for them.Having a card shown to me is often like splashing water on my face. It alerts me to look at what I’m doing and assess it with clarity rather than slapdash over excitement.

You have given me a great resource for overcoming my many “blah” days and for retuning my mindset when it strays into the mental brambles of imposter syndrome and self-distraction; reminding me that I too have something valuable to contribute to the lives of others, instead of sinking into the disillusionment that chains my mind and prevents me from following my passions. Try and schedule them to come out around the times when you have the most money in your account, such as right after paydays or benefits deposit. It gives you time to think of a way to reject the demand in a less abrupt manner, and it will remove the pressure of having to do it in person.I don't know what it will look like going forward as I have to find a way to keep providing a safe space for him while being able to work as well, but it has given me hope. By finding your tribe, you’ll find that you’re not alone and that these people think and react in the same way that you do, plus these are people who you don’t have to mask in front of. Having the freedom to be yourself is like having the best stretch in the comfiest bed. Also avoiding doing groceries to the point of bare cupboards, and mounting stress and terror over having to do it, but still feeling like I physically cant, even though my rational mind is begging me to go, that I have to do it – its not just about wanting to delay or avoid the awful sensory/bodily experience of leaving my house. Its still rational – as an autistic person, I shouldnt have to operate in the world like this, simple and necessary things shouldnt be like this – its wrong. The sense of belonging is one that every human in this scary world yearns for so find those that you belong with. They’re out there, I guarantee it.

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