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Posted 20 hours ago

Ask Me His Name: Learning to live and laugh again after the loss of my baby

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ZTS2023
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A Bump in The Road tells the story of months and years slipping by, of the immense physical and emotional toll taking place, when still those two positive lines were just out of reach. I’ve followed Elle’s story long before even thinking about starting this account and I often think about this story whilst at work with other parents and babies within the NICU. You have to integrate back into society, and you have to teach society why it’s really important that we can all just talk about this normally, so people don’t cross the street when they see you now because you’re not pregnant anymore and you’re not pushing a pram.

I think obviously there has to be a change in the element of support; but the biggest change has to come from everyone else so they’re better equipped to talk about it, and support the people it happens to. I found this helpful even for me so I could better support my family after our loss- to know that we are not alone, to know that you can eventually have hope again and most importantly to create a legacy for our Ciro just like Elle did for Teddy. Experiencing secondary infertility after the death of her son in 2016, Elle went on a journey of questions, drugs, tests, loss, frustration and three rounds of IVF. I’ve followed Elle on Instagram for quite some time now, so was already aware of her story and the devestating loss of baby Teddy when I bought this book. All the gorgeous images come from Feathering The Empty Nest, with permission from Elle Wright, and all videos are part of the Tommy's Together For Change Campaign.And I think it was about six months later, just after Teddy’s first birthday, I had an Instagram message from a girl saying she was a literary agent. Please whatever you do send them a heart emoji, I don’t even care, just send them something that shows that you are there, and whether they want to talk to you now, or they want to talk to you in a few months time when they’re feeling they can talk to people again, just let them know you’re there.

When I found myself experiencing a motherhood that I never expected, one that I was terrified of living, I didn't know how I would carry on being 'normal'. After the death of her son, Teddy, at three days old, Elle started writing to navigate her new life and as a way to feel purpose again.I literally went from room to room just doing that, and taking photos of it and putting it on Instagram, not with the intention of starting a blog at all, just because I needed it for my own sanity. In the UK, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss, but conversations about the heartbreakingly frequent experience are few and far between.

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