The Best Ever Book of Dutch Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Waarom hebben ze in Amsterdam veel platte fietsen? Van het grachten langs fietsen. (Why do they have many flat bikes in Amsterdam? From biking along the canals.) Hoe noem je een kameel zonder bult? Henk! (What do you call a camel without hump? Henk! – very common Dutch name) An important aspect of Dutch etiquette involves having good timekeeping habits. The Dutch tend to take punctuality very seriously, so make sure you arrive at appointments on time. If you’re running more than five minutes late, you should inform the people expecting you. In addition, Dutch people are known to schedule plans weeks or even months in advance. With that in mind, it’s best to avoid showing up at someone’s house unannounced. It’s particularly wise to avoid interrupting someone during dinner, which usually starts between 17:00 and 19:00. Conversation and communication in the Netherlands Since you are here, we would like to share our vision for the future of travel - and the direction Culture Trip is moving in.

Why did the Dutch football team bring a ladder to the game? In case they had to climb the “score”-board. Outside the Randstad, you may find that religion plays a more significant part in life than elsewhere. While most of the Netherlands is Protestant, southern and eastern regions are traditionally Catholic. For instance, you might celebrate Carnaval in February or March if you live in Limburg. On the other hand, in rural Protestant areas, shops might be closed and activities discouraged on Sundays. Tips on culture and etiquette in the Netherlands Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

23.To sit with your mouth full of teeth

Having called The Netherlands my home for quite a while now, I’ve had the privilege of immersing myself in their one-of-a-kind sense of humor. Trust me when I say that it’s an experience worth sharing! List of Jokes About Dutch Why did the Dutch football team bring a shovel to the game? In case they needed to “dig” their way out of a tough situation. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

In the Netherlands it is quite normal to use caricatures of race and ethnicity that are understood here as funny, while they can be deeply offensive to people from outside the Netherlands. Here is a list of funny dutch oven jokes and even better dutch oven puns that will make you laugh with friends. Origin: The actual origin likely has little to do with the subject of cleanliness and more to do with the lesser know meaning of the word ‘ schoon’ meaning beautiful/fair. Similar to the French term belle-mere, schoonmoeder thus refers to your ‘beloved’ mother-in-law. Waarom zijn Nederlanders zo goed in hinkelen? Ze zijn altijd op één been aan het staan voor de koning. (Why are Dutch people so good at hopping? They’re always standing on one leg for the king.)

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Hoe noem je een kameel met drie bulten? Henk Henk Henk (What do you call a camel with three humps? Henk Henk Henk) Origin: Some would say that the ‘ bril’ part comes from the shape of the toilet seat which resembles a spectacle of sorts hovering over the ‘eye’ of the toilet bowl. Another explanation could be it’s referencing the ‘shelf’ inside dutch toilets (instead of a water-filled bowl) which serves as a platter to display the contents of your bowels for closer examination. Yep, I’m grossed out too! 12. Peanut cheese The Dutch are known to swear and call each other names. There are some bad words. But they like to mix it up, and make it a bit funnier. A typical example of being direct and saying what you want, that might be a bit offensive, but should not be taken like that.

Dutch culture and quirks provide ample material for a good laugh. In this article, we present a compilation of 80+ light-hearted Dutch jokes that are sure to bring a smile to your face. So, let’s dive into the world of Dutch humor and enjoy a dose of laughter! Een Nederlander zegt tegen zijn vrouw: “Johanna, giet een liter water bij de soep, we hebben gasten!” Mijn zoontje… Aldies is zijn voornaam – A-L-D-I-E-S, en zijn achternaam is – hij heeft een dubbele achternaam, van zijn moeder en vader – Ghoet – G-H-O-E-T, en een streepje, Koper.Apparently, Dutch is one of the easiest languages to grasp if you’re an English speaker and even easier if you speak German, but you might need some ‘dutch courage’ to attempt pronouncing all their guttural-sounding ‘g’s. A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and a mop.” It’s no secret that supermarkten (supermarkets) fight for our attention with ever lower prijzen (prices) and better kwaliteit (quality). So when Caz! decided to call Albert Heijn, a dominant supermarktketen (super market chain) in the Netherlands, they wanted to get them to admit a truth that we’ve all known for years: German supermarktketen Aldi is cheaper than Albert Heijn. But how could you get them to say this? They found a pretty funny way. Here’s how the call went, that you can listen to above. Waarom zijn oranje truien in trek in Nederland? Omdat je in een oranje trui in de kroeg roept: “Geef mij maar een witte!” (Why are orange sweaters popular in the Netherlands? Because when you’re wearing an orange sweater in a bar you can yell: “Give me a white one!” meaning beer.)