The Best Ever Book of Portuguese Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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And pretty much all their neighbours finds the Belgians a tiny bit slow: “Why do Belgians have pommes frites, while the Arab world has oil? Because the Belgians got to choose first.” And “What do Belgian mothers do when the baby’s bathwater is too hot? Put on a pair of gloves.” A mosquito is named a mosquito in Portuguese too. Yet to account for the ferocity and huge dimensions of the specimens you’ll be introduced to in the tropics, natives came up with a fitting term: pernilongo, or “long-leg”.

Booktrust 'When I am dead, I hope it may be said: "His sins were scarlet, but his books were read."' - Hilaire Belloc

1. They have kangaroos in Germany?

Nem que a vaca tussa, or “when a cow coughs”, is the Portuguese equivalent of “when hell freezes over” — except it sounds a lot funnier. If you have a thing or two to say about it or you want to be a critic of their history, you should choose your words very carefully. But when lawyers at GLAN suggested suing governments via the European Court of Human Rights, he hesitated. He wasn't sure what a lawsuit was, only that it was "something adults did to each other."

One of my friends went up to my Portuguese dad.... and asked "You're Portuguese, right?" He said "No, I'm Portugoose. There's is only one of me" All of this made the regime wage a brutal Colonial War against the colonial peoples who were trying to get their independence. Second-day-off”, “third-day-off”, “fourth-day-off”, fifth-day-off”, and “sixth-day-off”: I wish my plans for this week were this exciting. Yet surprisingly, that’s just the literal translation of Portuguese weekday names. The benefits of laughter are well-documented. It can reduce stress, improve our mood, and boost our immune system. It can also help us to bond with others and build relationships.He says he hopes the young Portuguese win their case but that's not enough for the dramatic policy changes needed to avoid a climate emergency. I’ve had all the tests, and the doctor tells me there’s no question, I’m xenophobic. That’s another bloody illness the Hungarians have given me.” They defend the Portuguese national team passionately. Avoid saying negative things about their football, even if it might be true. I guess the idea here is that you laugh so hard that your body can’t physically bear it and sort of bursts open (on one end or the other). 22. Cheio de nove horas Try telling that old lady that we now have better healthcare, that young people have more opportunities to learn and lead a better life; tell her that we have fast-access internet porn and a longer lifespan, and she’ll die of dehydration before admitting the present is better than the past. You might even get that bottle of water thrown in your face. Limit conversation to Cristiano Ronaldo, José Mourinho, or Mariza.

It is better you make a terrible attempt to speak Portuguese or better still, speak English, as most people in Portugal have a basic understanding of English. 2. Do not talk bad about the national football team I told you it was a tad crude! That said, you’d only be judged for using this phrase in a business or otherwise formal environment. 19. Com o pé nas costas Why did the Portuguese soccer player bring string to the game? In case they needed to tie the score! Procurar pelo em ovo, or “to look for hair on an egg”, has roughly the same usage. 3. Nem que a vaca tussa After that, the country never became the great power it once was. It lost several colonies (including its largest one, Brazil) and trade routes, it saw its capital being destroyed by an earthquake in 1755 and it was occupied during the Napoleonic Wars.

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The Portuguese have a long love affair with coffee and are proud of their product. The espresso is part of their culture. They drink it morning, noon and night so you should probably just acquire a taste for it. You may be comfortable saying “Hello Sweetie,” or “Hello Baby,” but the Portuguese aren’t used to this tone (especially in English) and it might land you in hot water. Portugal has made verbal sexual street harassment a crime! 4. Don’t talk about the Colonial war or the dictatorship Needless to say, if you know a Romance language, it will be easier for you to learn Portuguese. However, if you who know a little Spanishdon’t make the mistake of assuming that Portuguese is close enough that it doesn’t need t be studied separately. While you might be able to figure out the meaning of some signage, items on a menu, etc.,understanding of verbal communication will be very low to nothing . Words such as “gente” (people) are pronounced so differently in either variant of Portuguese, that you would hardly recognise them. Also, some personal names such as “Jorge Ramos,” for example, will be pronounced quite differently as well. The six youths crowdfunded to help finance the lawsuit. GLAN put it together and filed it with the Strasbourg court, part of the Council of Europe.

Forget everything you know about Portuguese, it’s time to “burn the eyelashes”. Here are some colourful everyday Portuguese idioms and expressions used in Portugal and Brazil. Mein Hund jagte immer Leuten auf dem Fahrrad hinterher,bis ich ihm das Fahrrad wegnahm! 10. TBH we don’t really get this one One of those young people, Catarina Mota, now 21, remembers looking up at the sky and seeing only smoke. The fires killed 66 people.You probably know how Italians love’em some overstatement, but let me tell you they have nothing on Portuguese speakers. Proof of that is what we informally call speed bumps: quebra-molas literally translates as “coil-spring-breaker”.