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He called me later that night acting like everything was normal. I wanted to participate in the charade, but I just had to ask. When we become obsessed or infatuated with someone, we build them up in our minds and don’t even realize how far from reality we’ve strayed.
For example, it’s easier to ask yourself: How does he feel about me? Does he like me? Is this the one I’ve been waiting for? Rather than, Do I like me? Do I like my life? Am I even ready for a serious relationship? So many girls make the mistake of getting caught up in how the guy feels about them rather than focusing on how they feel about him. If he’s caught you, if you’re there, if you’ve been won, if you have given yourself to him fully, then there really isn’t much of a need to chase.The high continues as you venture into a relationship and becomes even more intense. You never quite know where you stand with him and you keep overthinking it. The uncertainty keeps you on your toes, constantly on alert for something that looks like a bad sign or an ominous foreshadow. This emotional rollercoaster is as exhausting as it is thrilling. You’re hooked. The worst possible thing that could happen is him leaving. It’s a fear you can’t quite shake no matter how promising the situation looks, a fear that drives everything you say and do. I know how that song goes, I’ve sung it many times over. When you allow these beliefs you get wired in, you ruin yourself. And you blame him for ruining you but it wasn’t him. It was your reaction to what he did that was your undoing. When we self-sabotage, it is often because we have a negative association between achieving the goal we aspire to and being the kind of person who has or does that thing. Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You Do you know the red flags to watch out for and how to be the kind of person that easily and effortlessly gets what they want in life? I was on a tear like you wouldn’t believe. I was on a mission. My mission: drink to the point that I can’t feel, and also make every guy in the room ache for me. I didn’t care to hook up. I just needed them to want me more than they’ve ever wanted anything. That was my game and I played it well. But oh boy, did it come at a cost.
Do you feel powerless in your relationships, like you’re at the mercy of someone else, feeling like you’re chasing a relationship instead of choosing it?Emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and meditation are powerful tools for building self-awareness and breaking free from self-sabotaging patterns. I had a sudden epiphany, a mature, responsible voice inside that said: no, not this time. I’m not going to feel sorry for myself. I’m going to take care of myself and be healthy. I’m going to go to the gym instead of the bar. I’m going to invest in my relationship with myself so that I learn to like myself again. After that, maybe even love me. And it worked! I actually changed for the better and that one resolution put me on the path to actually finding and having a healthy relationship. When you obsess and analyze, you’re essentially saying: I don’t trust that things are going to work out for me so I’m going to keep questioning everything until I prove myself right. I was a classic case of what not to do. But I learned a lot, and have used my knowledge to help countless women heal their ravaged hearts. And with that, here are my tips to recover from being cheated on, the healthy way. 1. Deal with it
In addition to “ 10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men,” Sabrina and Eric co-authored the e-book “He’s Not That Complicated,” a guide to understanding men and having the most rewarding, fulfilling relationship possible. They have also created an audio coaching series and written several mini e-books which focus on focusing on specific relationship issues. If you just met or just started seeing someone, I strongly advise that you try to go on one to two dates a week and that’s it. Also try to keep your phone conversations somewhat short, maybe an hour and a half max. This will give you the chance to get to know the other person while also giving you the space to decide if he is the right match for you. Men don’t usually cheat because they no longer love their partners or find them attractive. It’s because they need a certain emotional fix. In my relationship, he felt like a worthless loser (these were his words, we talked about this a lot but I’ll get to that later). I saw his real, raw self and I wanted to take care of him … and in doing so, I kind of became his mommy. I cared for him like he was a little boy and there is nothing sexy about that dynamic. When the questions got to be too much I called him for some answers. I needed closure, I needed to understand. But what a waste of time that was. It was like talking to a cold distant stranger. All the love he once felt (if it actually existed) was long gone. He just gave me short, “what do you want me to tell you?” answers, followed by sighs of annoyance. If I didn’t feel like nothing before this conversation, I certainly did after. As women, we keep bumping up against the constant reminder that we’re not young enough, our face is not flawless, our body’s not perfect. And because of that, we aren’t wanted. I think we’re going to see some very interesting conversations about ageing, what it does to a woman’s self esteem, the psychology of ageing, our self-worth,” she said. “It could be brought up in many ways, whether it’s women talking to themselves, to the camera, or to each other about it.”The audiobook of The Mountain Is You is consistently one of the best selling audiobooks on Audible and Apple Books. The audio verion was narrated by Stacey Glemboski, a former English teacher that is now a voiceover artist. Stacey Glemboski presents Wiest’s guidance with a heartfelt, spirited voice. The audiobook leaves you with an abundant motivation to transform your life. While the audiobook is not free, Brianna Wiest has various free audio programs on YouTube and her podcast. Here are a few of those no cost options: If you find no flaws in another person, that’s a sign you’re obsessed and infatuated and not seeing them clearly. It’s a sign that you are seeking validation or that person represents something to you, as we discussed earlier, so get to the root of what that is. Ground yourself and return to earth instead of getting swept away in this fantasy. One effective way to delve into The Mountain Is You is through its quotes. Although more profound within the book’s context, these quotes also offer valuable standalone insights. Most Popular Quote
Understanding the root causes of self-sabotage, such as fear, shame, and limiting beliefs, is key to overcoming it. It’s not just about finding a relationship… it’s about finding yourself. It’s about learning how to embrace and love who you are. Because the truth is… when you have that, you can easily attract anything out want.
● Why it happens
Many people say that you have to love yourself first before you can love others, but really, if you learn to love others, you will learn to love yourself Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You Another popular quote from Brianna Wiest about what self-care truly entails. Either way, mental strength is not just hoping that nothing ever goes wrong. It is believing that we have the capacity to handle it if it does. Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You I don’t want to be right. I really want to be off about this, so I do something that always served me well in my love life, I lean on my remarkable capacity for self-deception. I wake up the next morning and treat it all like a nightmare. It never happened, everything is the same.
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