Caned by the Headmaster!

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Can you think of a teacher in your primary school whose sight made you shiver even when the sun was freaking hot; the teacher whose sight was enough to make you confess all the sins you had committed in maize and coffee plantations? I was 'slippered' once - it barely hurt, although the impact nearly sent me across the room (I was always small!

Only yesterday at assembly I had impressed on the whole school that leaving without permission would not be tolerated. A number of schools failed to provide figures and, as those provided are often rough estimates, the data are suitable only for a simple analysis. I don't think it ever even landed on my desk, it was mostly one particular kid who ended upon the receiving end before getting expelled and later diagnosed with ADHD. His mitigating circumstances speel was that he was drunk, emotionally distraught cos he had had an arguement with his girlfiend - la la la. When the present Government took office it published some revolutionary suggestions for changing the juvenile courts and treating young offenders.A caning across the seat of the trousers would be quite sufficient for the first offender,” he says. In this way his buttocks were presented at exactly the correct height and angle for strokes from my cane. I also remember a very Victorian deputy head named 'Wiggy' Walters, he had that proper old miserable bloke look about him, long face, big black rimmed glasses, never smiled, no sense of humour, big jug ears. Just as it seemed to be dissolving into a throb Mr Thwackery took up his position and landed number three.

There was talk of abolishing approved schools and replacing them with various types of homes and schools under the control of local councils. I recently read Roald Dahl’s ‘Boy’ to my 7yr old and it’s easy to see where he got his inspiration for characters like Miss Trunchbull from.Cummings let out a long sigh, wind escaped through clenched teeth, sounding somewhat like one of the steam trains coming into Brocklehurst Station. Mr Thwackery told me, “ St Francis used to be one of the best schools in Brocklehurst, indeed in the entire region.