Finding Me: An Oprah's Book Club Pick

Product Information

I have such admiration for how resilient all three of these girls are, and how incredibly open and generous and forgiving they all seem to be towards each other and towards what happened to them. The fact that these horrific things happen are just--unimaginable to me, but hearing these stories of survival are both touching and awe-inspiring. My only regret- I have from listening to Viola read ‘this/her’ memoir so brilliantly—is that I wish I had been part of a small book group -having ongoing discussions—chapter by chapter. An actor’s work is to be an observer of life. My job is not to study other actors, because that is not studying life. As much as I can, I study people. If you’re my audience, it’s not my job to give you a fantasy. It is my job to give you yourself.” One month into Castro's sentence, he was found dead in his cell, hanging by a bed sheet. It was ruled a suicide. "What a punk! I wanted him to sit in his cell and rot away a little bit at a time for the rest of his life, just like he forced me to do. 'He couldn't even deal with one month of the torture that he put us through,'" Michelle later told Gina.

I cried reading about Viola's childhood and the way her trauma shaped her into the woman she is today. I cheered for her, had my heart burn with pride and joy learning she's finally getting the love and life she deserves. Through you through me to others it’s my hope whoever is touched will find Hope. Peace. Joy in the wounds of why they are, too. My heart ached for them. To know that this was not just one day but 11 years of constant torture for Knight is horrifying. To know that she was subjected to constant beatings, continuous rapes and starvation by a mad man everyday...I just could not...could not begin to understand... I'm glad Michelle allowed us to share the parts of her captivity that she could bear to share. Eleven years is an eternity when you are being systematically abused both physically and mentally. Amanda and Michelle were chained together and forcefully raped, experiencing their own pain and each other's. Michelle was starved and beaten so that she would miscarry each of her five pregnancies. Amanda had a daughter who brought a little light to utter darkness. Delusional Ariel thought that he could be a good father, take her out in public and even talked about gaining custody after the girls were freed. Winning an Academy Award is, for any film actor, the pinnacle of accomplishment. Viola Davis won her Academy Award for best supporting actress in 2017, for the role of Rose Maxson in the movie Fences. Poised and polished, she delivered her acceptance speech on the stage of Los Angeles’s Dolby Theatre, wearing a crimson evening gown, clasping the gold statuette tightly in one hand: the epitome of a wildly successful actor and woman.Career-wise, after Viola got a role in the 1998 HBO movie 'The Pentagon Wars', there was a domino effect, and more television work came along. Still, many roles eluded Viola because, in her words, she wasn't "pretty enough." When the teachers heard the commotion and saw my bare feet, I had to stand in the corner. In shame. As if I had done something wrong. Why all the vitriol? I was being bullied constantly. This was one more piece of trauma I was experiencing—my clothes, my hair, my hunger, too—and my home life being the big daddy of them all. The attitude, anger, and competitiveness were my only weapons. My arsenal. And when I tell you I needed every tool of that arsenal every day, I’m not exaggerating. I am a dark-skinned woman. Culturally, there is a spoken and unspoken narrative rooted in Jim Crow. It tells us that dark-skinned women are simply not desirable. All the attributes that are attached to being a woman-desirable, vulnerable, needing to be rescued-don't apply to us. In the past, we've been used as chattel, fodder for inhumane experimentation, and it has evolved into invisibility." Michelle was a young single mother when she was kidnapped by a local school bus driver named Ariel Castro. For more than a decade afterward, she endured unimaginable torture at the hand of her abductor. In 2003 Amanda Berry joined her in captivity, followed by Gina DeJesus in 2004. Their escape on May 6, 2013, made headlines around the world.

Ever since Viola was a little girl, she dreamed of being an actress, standing on stage while people clapped and threw flowers at her. In 1996, on the night August Wilson’s play Seven Guitars opened on Broadway, that’s just what happened. Viola was playing the lead role, Vera. When the curtain fell, the applause was thunderous. Even better, Viola could see her parents in the front row. Her mom was in a gown, her dad in a tux. They were both so proud of their little girl. Making the moment even sweeter, Viola and her dad had begun to heal their relationship. MaDada’s drinking had slowed, and a different, more thoughtful man than the father Viola knew was beginning to emerge. What a talent, what a career, what a life, and what a treat to relive it all with this most down-to-earth of demigods. Barely out of her own tumultuous childhood, Michelle was estranged from her family and fighting for custody of her young son when she disappeared. Local police believed she had run away, so they removed her from the missing persons lists fifteen months after she vanished. Castro tormented her with these facts, reminding her that no one was looking for her, that the outside world had forgotten her. But Michelle would not be broken. Loving and studying everything criminology, this memoir just blew my mind completely out of the water.I cried so many times listening to this. I connected to many parts of this book in many emotional and mental ways. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about how to do this book justice with a mere review. I love the relationship she shares with her mom… imma go ahead and call my mother a great love of mine because SHE JUST IS!!! 💚💚💚 thank you for helping me see this Vee. This memoir really resonated with me and I was on the edge of my seat while listening to her life story and truth she found after finding her way out of the darkness.

The journey wasn’t an easy one- but my goodness was a ride it has been. Viola- I am so happy that you are full of self- love now- that you know how beautiful and talented you are, and I hope you know what an inspiration you are, as well.

Need Help?

Viola’s fortitude and determination reminds me of The Choice by Dr. Edith Eva Eger. Through sheer grit, relentless honesty, serious reflection, and courage, Viola works her way through the despair and trauma of her childhood and finds that she can love herself and have a life worth living. Our past doesn’t need to define us. Recommending Finding Me I can say so much about how our life events sorta overlap but this is her story so I will leave it there. Never once did I think that she was unpretty or undesirable… but what I will say ISSSS that NO ONE ON THIS PLANET SLINGS SNOT LIKE LADY VIOLA DAVISSSSSS!!! Just prepare to cry when she cries, smile when she smiles, level up when she’s on the screen bossing it up and such and such & this and that 😂. Viola prayed to meet a good man, and finally, on the set of 'City of Angels', she met Julius Tennon, whom she later married. Viola recalls, "As soon as he came into my life, my life got better because I created a family with him, with someone who loved me....I was no longer solely defined by the family that raised me and my childhood memories." As I wrote Finding Me, my eyes were open to the truth of how our stories are often not given close examination. They are bogarted, reinvented to fit into a crazy, competitive, judgmental world. So I wrote this for anyone who is searching for a way to understand and overcome a complicated past, let go of shame, and find acceptance. For anyone who needs reminding that a life worth living can only be born from radical honesty and the courage to shed facades and be...you. At the time, Viola saw the wisdom in that therapists’ words. And yet she couldn’t embrace that girl. She wasn’t ready to feel whole within herself; she had healing left to do. Years later – thanks to How to Get Away with Murder, thanks to Julius and Genesis, and thanks to the work Viola herself put in to healing herself and her relationships with her family – Viola was finally able to turn to that little girl and follow her therapist’s advice: embrace her, thanking her for the strength and courage she had shown. In many ways, Viola still is that little girl – determined, persistent, scrappy. Only now, she’s not running away from trauma and prejudice. She’s running toward joy. Final Summary

I’ll be adding and doing a full review. Couldn’t wait to share because of the size of the vibe and importance to me. Maybe you as well. After a few months had passed, there was talk about the women writing a book about what they had gone through. Immediately I made a decision that I wouldn’t read any of their books. I just couldn’t bear to read –let alone imagine what had happened over the eleven-year period. However, while searching for my next read, I stumbled upon Michelle’s memoir. Something tugged at my heart, and I knew I had to read her story. Who knew this beautiful and talented woman has been right under our noses this entire time! Now that I've heard her story, The Woman King makes it a much more powerful story as if it's Viola herself rising from the tall grass and letting out a primal scream from her soul as if to say, I'm here and nothing or nobody will stop me now that I found myself. This memoir will make you emotional after reading the author's extraordinary life journey. If you are facing many obstacles in your life now and want to read a newly published inspirational book, this book will be a great choice. Vahla”—the southern pronunciation of my name—“don’ you run from those bastards anymore. You hear me? Soon as that bell rings you WALK home! They mess with you, you jug ’em.”This was tough to read, I can only imagine the horrible reality that these three girls faced when they were kidnapped by this Monster. I UN-apologetically sobbed three times while reading and I'm in awe at how they could live through hell for ten years. There was more then one time where an observant neighbor could have intervened or would have learned something was wrong by taking a step closer. The monster in this book targeted and preyed on these two girls dehumanizing them over and over as he used their bodies and took away their freedom. STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND RUN, RUUUNNN TO THE BOOKSTORE AND BUY THIS BOOK, YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED!!! ITS A TOPS!!! 💚💚💚 This book needs MANY readers. We need to examine, explore, scrutinize, question, contemplate, dig deep, chew, study, and appraise…..[together-as-community]….a book like this: to be clear …’This Book’: Viola Davis’s memoir. Many lessons - insights - to take away.