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The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness

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In short, Stoicism not only shows you the way but also hands you the key to the good life. All you need to do is walk the path, turn the key, and enter. So, Stoic teacher Epictetus asks, How long are you going to wait? tlie main promise of Stoic philosophy and it’s about living a supremely happy and smoothly flowing life. It’s about thriving in our lives. That’s basically what we all want, to thrive a nd live happy lives , right? That’s why it’s at the core of the Stoic Happiness Triangle. Do you remember the Greek origin of the word? It means being on good terms (eu) with your inner daimon, your highest self. And how can we achieve this? By living with arete. Live with Arete: Express your highest self in every moment. If we want to be on good terms with our highest self., we need to close the gap between what we’re capable of and what we’re actually doing. This is really about being your best version in the here and now. It’s about using reason in our actions and living in harmony with deep values. This is obviously easier said than done, what supports this ambitious goal is to separate good from bad and focus on what we control. Focus on What You Control: This is the most prominent principle in Stoicism. At all times, we need to focus on the things we control, and take the rest as it happens. What already is has to be accepted because it’s beyond our power to undo it. What’s beyond our power is ultimately not important for our flourishing. What's important for our flourishing is what we choose to do with the given external circumstances. So no matter the situation, it’s always within our power to try to make the best with it, and to live in harmony with our ideal self. Take Responsibility: Good and bad come solely from yourself. This follows the first two cornel's that say external things don’t matter for the good life, so living with arete, which is within your control, is enough to flourish in life. Also, you’re responsible for your life because every external event you don’t control offers an area you can control, namely how you choose to respond to this event. This is crucial in Stoicism, it’s not events that make us happy or miserable, but our interpretation of those events. This is when a tower of strength can be born—the moment you decide to give outside events no more power over you.

It should really be a no-brainer for many of us to adopt a philosophy of life that offers guidance, direction, and a larger meaning to life. Without that compass, there’s the risk that despite all our well-intentioned actions, we’ll run in circles, chase worthless things, and end up living an unfulfilling life full of emotional suffering, regrets, and frustration. And since it doesn’t take much effort to give Stoicism a chance as your guiding philosophy of life, there’s really nothing to lose and much to gain. Let’s not spend our time on things that don’t matter. Because the more time we spend on something, the more importance we give it. At the same time, what truly matters—family, friends, commitments, expressing the highest self—becomes less important because we spend less time on them. The wise man looks to the purpose of all actions, not their consequences; beginnings are in our power but Fortune judges the outcome, and I do not grant her a verdict upon me For the sake of disclosure, I must say that this is probably the first review where I have been in touch with the author before reading the book. The promise of this book is really the promise of Stoic philosophy: It teaches how to live a supremely happy and smoothly flowing life and how to retain that even in the face of adversity. It prepares you to be ready for anything, like a tower of strength—unshakable, deep-rooted, emotionally resilient, and surprisingly calm and mindful even in the midst of a hellfire.The indifferent things often get summarized as health, wealth, and reputation; but basically, everything external, everything that is not up to use, get classified as indifferent. By indifferent, the Stoics mean that these events are neutral and can neither help nor harm our flourishing as human beings, they’re unimportant for the happy and smoothly flowing life.

You and I, we’re responsible for our own flourishing. We’re responsible for not letting our happiness depend on external circumstances—we shouldn’t let the rain, annoying strangers, or a leaking washing machine decide upon our wellbeing.” Jonas SalzgeberOf course, one could say that’s because the wisdom contained is very very old, but that’s not what I mean; it’s the way it’s written and explained that makes it so. A really phenomenal book. And that’s exactly what the ancient world philosophy used to be helpful for: a practical school of thought to help people lead better lives. Self-discipline is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it will get. So each time you decide to overcome the initial hurdle and do practice, you train yourself in self-discipline and willpower.

Yeah, maybe you can change quite a few things. But maybe you can also accept a few of them and move on? Live with Arete: In every breathing moment, you should strive for excellence. Living in arete is all about becoming the highest version of yourself in anything you do. No man becomes braver through anger, except one who without anger would not have been brave at all: anger does not therefore come to assist courage, but to take its place.people—something happens and they react impulsively. In kids, that’s even more distinct. Let’s say yon ng Boy is playing with his brontosaur Bronty, and then you take it away. What happens? Chances are high that Boy will immediately start crying. Boy doesn't think about his reaction, it will come automatically. Maybe he'll stare at you in disbelief before he’ll start laughing. Who knows? Now, Boy and other young kids don’t have the power to choose a response. But for you and me, it’s different. Potentially, there’s a small gap between stimulus and response. The power lies in that gap. The freedom of choice lies in that gap. The gap means that we have the chance to step in between stimulus and response and choose our voluntary reaction (or non-reaction). The gap is only a potential gap because if we’re not aware enough, there will be no gap, and we will mindlessly go with the default (or auto-) response. Awareness, mindfulness, or attention as the Stoics call it, is necessary for you to be able to step in between stimulus and response. Depending on your awareness, the gap becomes bigger or smaller or even nonexistent. The point is, when something happens to you—you break a glass, step into dog shit, or get shown the middle finger by a stranger—you could enter the gap before you react automatically. Once you’re in the gap, you can think about your options, and then choose your best reaction. Most people will re actively go with their default response, and only later (or not at all) realize that their reaction was inappropriate. When you step into dog shit, it’s plausible that some reaction follows automatically. Something inside you decides that the situation is really bad; what follows are feelings of anger, annoyance, and panic, accompanied by swear words and hectic body movements. Now this might not seem too bad, but what happens is that you get jerked around by ail outside event that you can’t change anymore. You let an outside circumstance determine how you feel. If we generally go with our default reactions, we’ll always be dependent on what happens around us; stepping into dog shit makes us miserable, stepping oil a Sio bill makes us happy. We’re at the mercy of the situation, if our default reaction to the situation Stoics realized that the process will affect the outcome. The process is about our behavior, deliberate practice, and all that prepares us to shoot well. Success, then, is defined by our effort to do everything that's within our power. Whether we hit the target or not, whether we win or lose, whether we drop some weight or not, ultimately does not matter. We succeed or fail already in the process. So the Stoic archer focuses on the process (preparing and shooting well); a possible positive outcome (hitting the target) won’t arouse jubilation, and a possible negative outcome (missing the target) won’t arouse despair. The Stoic archer succeeds in the process and is ready to take any outcome with equanimity and calm confidence, knowing they’ve tried their very best This focus on the process, focus on what you control idea, is a massive confidence booster. You know if you do your very best, you will succeed no matter what It’s all you can do. If you try your absolute best at your job, in your relationships, and for your health, then you’ll always feel confident and at peace with yourself. This calm confidence or tranquility lies in knowing that you did whatever was in your power, because that’s all you control. Even if things don’t turn out well, you can derive satisfaction from knowing you’ve done your best. No need to justify bad results, there are just too many uncontrollable factors influencing the outcome. It’s only if you know you haven’t done everything in your power that you will feel insecure and must justify yourself That’s the dark gap between what you're actually doing and what you’re capable of doing, as discussed earlier. The Stoics highlighted that anxiety and inner disturbance come from wanting things out of our control. Epictetus, for example, said that it’s foolish to want friends and relatives to live forever because it’s not up to us. As seen before, the root cause of emotional suffering comes from worrying about things outside our control. This is why we should focus on the process; the process is fully under our control. And if we define success as giving our best in the process, then we cannot fail, feel calmly confident, and can accept any outcome with equanimity. Depend less on outside circumstances: If you feel happy only when you go shopping you clearly have a problem. To achieve eudaimonia and to feel good in your own skin, you shouldn’t depend on outside circumstances. Or in other words, you should strive to become independent. Here we don’t mean only starting a business and becoming your own boss, it’s more of taking the wheel out of the pleasure-craving monster within so you can live by your principles and higher values. What is it then that we have control over? Only a few things—our voluntary judgments and actions. We can decide what events mean to us and how we want to react to them. And our actions, we can choose to align them with virtue. All else is not under our control. Stoics knew this fact. That’s why they were careless of outside stimuli and always directed their thoughts inwards. Finding inner peace and focusing their thoughts on things they can change, not such that are outside of their scope. Lesson #4: Focus on The Process, Not The Outcome

There are three things in life: The good, the bad, and the indifferent things. The first two – good and bad – are things you can change. For example, what you do is either good for your future or present self or bad – eating healthy vs eating junk food. The third category is about the things you can’t change – for example, life and death. Obviously, we should do everything in our power to do things that can be defined as good. Four broad character traits the Stoics adopted from the Socratic philosophy. They divided virtue into the four cardinal virtues of wisdom, justice, courage, and self-discipline. Living by these qualities makes a strong character and lets you take generally honorable and praiseworthy actions. Thinking way too much about TV series, funny fail videos, where to go on vacation, what to buy and other superficial activities is going to sabotage your existence. You can only advance in life by paying attention to the right things. accessible, digestible, and highly functional way. In the first part, you’ll learn about the promise of the philosophy, its history, main philosophers, and about the core principles presented as the Stoic Happiness Triangle. Study that triangle and you’re able to explain the philosophy to a five-yearold. The second part is all about hitting the waves; it’s crammed with practical advice and exercises for everyday living. My ultimate aim of this direct and straightforward approach to Stoicism is to help you live a better life. I believe we can all become a little wiser and happier by practicing this wonderful philosophy. It’s time to dive in. From wrestling philosophers to emotional wolves, this first chapter covers all you need to know about the promise of Stoic philosophy, or why you should get into Stoicism.Just like the tree must tighten its grip not to fall down with every breeze, we must strengthen our position if we don’t want to be swept off our feet by every trifle. This is what Stoic philosophy is here for—it will make you stronger and let the same rain and wind appear lighter and keep you on your feet at all times. In other words, it will prepare you to deal more effectively with whatever stormy weather life throws at you. We’re the only ones stopping us from cultivating virtuous behavior, we’re the only ones stopping us from living the good life. Something happens (stimulus) and then we react to it (response). Oftentimes, this response happens automatically, unconsciously, and without us thinking about it.” Jonas Salzgeber

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